My Ribena Stain

No, my parents did not attend my confirmation rite in the church over Holy week last Saturday. In retrospect, it was a blessing in disguise. They did not have to witness the disaster during the final stage before I was to go to receive my very first Eucharist. Now I look at it, it really was for the better. I do not know how my father would have reacted had he witnessed first-hand on those emotions going through me. I think I have put him through enough turmoil in my earlier experiences, such that God would want to spare him this.

Instead what he got was something else instead. In the week before, he had told his daughter to be mindful when sharing the joy of salvation and upholding the covenant on online platforms like Facebook (i.e. my careless unedited original posting of my confirmation card with much of my personal information). She had silently took the advice in and gone ahead for the ceremony on Saturday. Yes, she came back on that night on a very muted tone, and he definitely could sense something had gone amiss. However, he also knew that since she had been able to make her way home safely, on the overall most was still well. So he decided to pull off his very own first “water into wine” of sorts.

When I came home on Monday, he had let me stay in his study where he and mum were looking videos of the cherry blossoms they were going to view in Japan in the next week. Then all of a sudden he veered into an unknown territory.

“So this name of yours now? Apart from that first one I don’t know what, now there’s this other one. The name that sounds like that drink.”

“… It is now Clare Regina. Clare for baptism, Regina for confirmation.”

“Ah… So troublesome, I’ll keep pronouncing it as Ribena.”

“Aiyo, just call her Wenhui like we always do lah,” my mum interjected.

For the next few minutes the three of us just continued looking at the videos of the cherry blossom, being comfortable in each other’s presence.

From what I know of my father, nickname calling has always been a term of endearment, though many of it are very derogatory. If he calls you by full proper name, then you are in serious major trouble. So I guess it means I am alright and cleared despite last Saturday. It was merely a Ribena stain on the white robe, that’s all.

Forgiveness is not a quota

There’s plenty of mentions in the Bible of the painstaking extent God goes to deal with us. However, personally I feel there’s less in depth elaborate into the dynamics of dealing with others. The most widely quoted one I can think of is the famous “Love thy neighbor as thy self”. Then again, how does one do that, especially in the face of conflict and misunderstanding?
To have a better idea, we may have to turn to look at the concept of forgiveness. God’s love for us is best demonstrated by his act of forgiveness by redeeming us on the cross through death. Not that we literally have to die for others that is, but whenever we are faced with the dilemma of how much do we love others, we are dealing of how much of our own feelings and thoughts are we willing to disregard and write off, in order that the relationship with that other person is preserved.
Then the next question would be how much is the reasonable expectations that one should have of others when dealing with them, to ensure that one both maintain a healthy level of self-love (note this is not selfish love which would then be pride) and love for others? The answer then lies in another famous passage.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)

 

At first glance, God seems to be demanding the impossible of us disciples. However, that is because we have fallen into the mistake of looking at the numbers collectively as a whole. In this passage Jesus is not so much reprimanding Peter for not being able to forgive. Afterall God is not expecting we match his performance. He is actually scolding Peter for setting a pre-determined quota of how much forgiveness he is willing to dispense towards others. On Peter’s own end, he falls into the sin of sloth, trying to make things easy for himself.
The seven times versus seventy-seven times analogy cannot be examined in its absolute form. Jesus is actually explaining to Peter that forgiveness is to be given once at a time, not to be taken stock of. Since forgiveness is an act of love, this is in line with this other well-known verse.

[Love] keeps no records of wrong

1 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV)

Thus, continue dealing with the people around you one interaction at a time. Through this method of compartmentalizing and isolating each interaction, you’ll strike the right balance of love for self with love for others.

Movie Mayhem with God Part 4: The Lost Bladesman

This is the most current movie I've watched in threatres. Yup, the lead is none other than a revered historical figure in China, 关云长 a.k.a. 关公. Amongst so many numerous positive Chinese historical figures, he is one of the few who is able to be elevated to the status of a deity and worshipped (Confucius and 岳飞 being the only others I can think of for the time being), one would wonder why?

I'm not sure for other cultures, but I think our Chinese ancestors end up worshipping not really the historical characters per se, but more of their dedication in upholding certain universal virtues we hold so dear, even in the time of extreme adversity. Thus, I'll delve a bit into the plot of the movie. However I must emphasise, the movie is heavily fictionalised (of course for commercial and time constraint reasons of using film as the medium).

In the movie, the character undergoes a sort of trial not unlike Jesus' temptation by Satan in the desert for 40 days. He is sent by his god-brother cum ruler 刘备 on a rescue mission to the enemy side led by 曹操, who has held his god-brother's wife hostage. To his horror however, in this trip, some of the beliefs and values which he holds close are shaken.

Brotherhood & Loyalty- 曹操 knowing 关云长 has suppressed love and admiration for his god-brother's wife tempts his into defection by promising him to bethroth her to him.

Compassion for the people - 曹操 brings 关云长 around his kingdom, showing how he has provided the people under him with a relatively peaceful life with needs fulfiled, thus drilling in 关云长 the doubt of whether the ends justify the means, and is there really a need for a ruler who has a legitimate mandate as long as the people's needs are met.

Justice - 关云长 is waylaid on the way to rescue his god-brother's wife, by a certain town's general who is sent to stop him at whatever cost. That general exhibits compassion for his citizens evacuating them before 关云长 arrival. After the battle, the general asks 关云长 to promise to spare his township citizens. To 关云长's horror, the citizens want to fight him to death as they are grieved by the death of their general. Upon the arrival of 曹操, they are executed for inappropriate behaviour as 曹操 still wishes to sway 关云长. 关云长ends up feeling guilty for causing the deaths of these innocent lives.


During one of the extreme moments of temptation, 曹操 blasted 关云长 for his "blind" faith, saying "When you and I are long dead, you will be revered and worshipped, whereas I will be condemmed in history. However, those who do this are either fools like you, or people who wish to make use of fools like you". 曹操 also questions 关云长 whether he has ever had selfish desires to come into his own, saying he would provide him with all the power and authority, as long as he defected. Of course the movie is does not deviate from history and 关云长 finally emerges out of the trials, even more resolved to serve his god-brother. However even the historical fate of 关云长 resounds of many of Christ's disciples too...

After thr battle of Red Cliff, the three Kingdom era was officially established with 魏under 曹操、蜀under 刘备 and 吴under 孙权. Though 蜀&吴 kingdoms had forged an alliance in order to defeat 曹操 during the battle of Red Cliff, their alliance had been rocky, beset with suspicion of each other and internal rivalry. This eventually led the 吴ruler 孙权to approach 曹操 to do a joint surprise siege on a city guarded by 关云长 unawares. Eventually, the entire city was massacred, with 关云长 tragicly killed with his head decapitated with 曹操's side, while his body remained with the 吴 people who falsely claimed that they had rushed to assist but were too late. However this was just an opening to more mayhem as 曹操 used this event to openly crumble the 蜀吴alliance, through organising a state funeral in memory of 关云长, exposing the hypocrisy of all the 3 kingdom's rulers. Both the opening and closing of the film, which shows that funeral, 曹操 shows extreme respect for 关云长, wistfully saying that 关云长 had the potential to be a wolf, but he instead choose to be a lamb in wolf's clothing. He then remarks that all those involved in the politics of that era, 刘备、孙权、诸葛亮 were hypocrites, actually wolves in sheeps clothings, making use of 关云长 as a mere chess pawn. Then one of his officials questioned him "What about you, sir?" and 曹操 replied succintly "I never claimed I wasn't one", while wiping a tear but slowly turning a give a sly look.

Seems to end tragically at first glance but on second thought maybe not. The Chinese word 关云长 is always associated with is 义, meaning "loyalty and faith". In the ancient manuscript, the word 义 is written such that it actually comprises two characters symbols, 羊 (lamb) on top and 我 (me) on the bottom (the ancient manuscript of the word can be seen in the movie poster's background). Looking at it historically seems like the concept of having faith in one's beliefs means sacrificng one's own offering lamb (discard and sacrifice one's selfish desires ) in honour of God... For us Christians, we do not worship the first disciples per se, but we do honour them for their faith in sticking with their belief in Christ right till the end, and thus we too must emulate them, though we do it for praise from God, not human praise. Just as 关云长 kept reiterating in the film that he has no desire to become a hero and just wishes for peace for all through legitimate means, we believers just wish to serve the only true God. Amen.

for they loved human praise more than praise from God
John 12:43 (NIV)

Such a person's praise is not from other people, but from God.
Romans 2:29 (NIV)

We are not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else
1 Thessalonians 2:6 (NIV)