Thursday, January 31, 2013

Forgiveness is not a quota

There’s plenty of mentions in the Bible of the painstaking extent God goes to deal with us. However, personally I feel there’s less in depth elaborate into the dynamics of dealing with others. The most widely quoted one I can think of is the famous “Love thy neighbor as thy self”. Then again, how does one do that, especially in the face of conflict and misunderstanding?
To have a better idea, we may have to turn to look at the concept of forgiveness. God’s love for us is best demonstrated by his act of forgiveness by redeeming us on the cross through death. Not that we literally have to die for others that is, but whenever we are faced with the dilemma of how much do we love others, we are dealing of how much of our own feelings and thoughts are we willing to disregard and write off, in order that the relationship with that other person is preserved.
Then the next question would be how much is the reasonable expectations that one should have of others when dealing with them, to ensure that one both maintain a healthy level of self-love (note this is not selfish love which would then be pride) and love for others? The answer then lies in another famous passage.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)
 
At first glance, God seems to be demanding the impossible of us disciples. However, that is because we have fallen into the mistake of looking at the numbers collectively as a whole. In this passage Jesus is not so much reprimanding Peter for not being able to forgive. Afterall God is not expecting we match his performance. He is actually scolding Peter for setting a pre-determined quota of how much forgiveness he is willing to dispense towards others. On Peter’s own end, he falls into the sin of sloth, trying to make things easy for himself.
The seven times versus seventy-seven times analogy cannot be examined in its absolute form. Jesus is actually explaining to Peter that forgiveness is to be given once at a time, not to be taken stock of. Since forgiveness is an act of love, this is in line with this other well-known verse.
[Love] keeps no records of wrong
1 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV)
Thus, continue dealing with the people around you one interaction at a time. Through this method of compartmentalizing and isolating each interaction, you’ll strike the right balance of love for self with love for others.

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