今天又在做工时被气坏了，甚至气得没能力喘口气。Literally angry till out of breath, such that during the entire incident, I was unable to reply anything else other than "I did not XYZ." Thankfully now I'm back in front of my computer again, catching my breath back, together with a prescription of TCM medication from 中华 Free Clinic to 降火, as it seems like I'm suffering from a bout of physical heatiness too.
I was reflecting on today's incident, which led me to wonder about the concept of scolding, aka 骂人. Being drained as I am of energy now, I have no intention of scolding anyone, especially on today (Holy Thursday, eve of Good Friday). Simply pondering over a common phrase which many blurt out in heated moments, the “你去死啊！” or "You go and die/f*** yourself!"
For most scenarios, this phrase serves no concrete purpose, to both the one scolding and the one being scolded. Let me go explain it from both sides.
1. The one scolding
I was reflecting on today's incident, which led me to wonder about the concept of scolding, aka 骂人. Being drained as I am of energy now, I have no intention of scolding anyone, especially on today (Holy Thursday, eve of Good Friday). Simply pondering over a common phrase which many blurt out in heated moments, the “你去死啊！” or "You go and die/f*** yourself!"
For most scenarios, this phrase serves no concrete purpose, to both the one scolding and the one being scolded. Let me go explain it from both sides.
1. The one scolding
This scolding is actually a half complete sentence, the full version being “我要你去死啊！” or "I want you to go and die/f*** yourself!" However, now think upon it, what specific action verb applies for the “我” or "I" in this sentence... Sad to say, nothing at all. In fact, the action verb that applies to “我” or "I" here is merely “要” or "want". Wants are merely desires, some attainable within our capacity, some mission impossible. In the context of this phrase, I think the chances of us attaining what we desire when we blurt out the phrase are very very slim indeed...
2. The one being scolded
2. The one being scolded
When the interchange of words has come to this extent, it no longer deserves being classified as mere feedback. Thus, the receptivity of the one being scolded is definitely not very high. Even under any circumstances, the receptivity of anybody to the phrase would be zilch. If I were the one being verbally whacked by this phrase but being in a calm mood, I'd remark to myself how hilarious the phrase is, as the one scolding me is totally helpless at substantiating what grounds am I to oblige and accede to this request. Tsk, tsk. :p
I've indulged in inward cursing of this sort often, but now I've realised the futility of it. Not that scolding is fruitless. In fact, it was through the harsh scoldings by many mentors, was I able to get rid of many bad habits and mindsets of mine.
During silent retreat last week, a constant point that God had wanted me to consider properly was what I wanted for myself. Applying it to the context of scoldings and quarrels in heated moments, I think the best method to scold would be to ensure that the “我” or "I" has a specific action verb. All else is actually secondary. Thus, next time I'll curse inwardly “你这TMD王八蛋！我更要活得好好的！” or "I'll survive and prosper all the more, as you're such an arsehole!"
I've indulged in inward cursing of this sort often, but now I've realised the futility of it. Not that scolding is fruitless. In fact, it was through the harsh scoldings by many mentors, was I able to get rid of many bad habits and mindsets of mine.
During silent retreat last week, a constant point that God had wanted me to consider properly was what I wanted for myself. Applying it to the context of scoldings and quarrels in heated moments, I think the best method to scold would be to ensure that the “我” or "I" has a specific action verb. All else is actually secondary. Thus, next time I'll curse inwardly “你这TMD王八蛋！我更要活得好好的！” or "I'll survive and prosper all the more, as you're such an arsehole!"
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