Reconciliation in a Panther's sprint

There was definitely no initial intention to pen anything about "Black Panther", as it struck me as more or less what you would expect from Marvel, albeit with heavy dosages of black affirmation and women empowerment (though they were satisfactorily done). However upon deeper examination of the dynamics between T'challa and Killmonger, I have been increasingly moved to write something. Spoilers ahead of course.

Both characters have proven to be relatable in their own manner, with valid standpoints. In fact one could postulate that they are two sides of the same coin in relation to the burden of historical baggage. As an audience, I was originally quite upset with Killmonger's death, as it felt as if he was not given opportunity for closure and reconciliation with his family and nation, with the ending seeming like a one-sided politically correct ending with T'challa emerging triumphant.

In other conflict ridden relationships in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, producers have been willing to let things run their course to add value to all characters involved. Thor and Loki's sibling rivalry has moved beyond Greek tragedy cliche, to become more representative of the tongue-in-cheek jousting between siblings in daily life.  Captain America's tortured loyalty to his unlucky friend Bucky aka Winter Soldier has even been the center piece theme in Civil War, to get us to question ourselves, and our three way tug of war between professionalism versus past and present relationships. What bugged me was Marvel's stinginess to afford Killmonger time to let things develop and morph between him and T'challa. However upon deeper scrutiny of "reconciliation", especially the final scene between T'challa and Killmonger, I may have to rethink things.

Killmonger had grown up feeling severely displaced, perhaps due to how he esteems his ancestral roots, motivating him to conceptualise his masterplan of igniting civil unrest to all former colonial master nations.  After his fatally mortal wound by T'challa, Killmonger is brought by T'challa to his favourite personal spot, with hopes that he finally repents of his ways. And he does. It is only in that spot that Killmonger takes in the full majesty and beauty of his ancestral land, realising he had been too consumed with vindication and hatred, and neglected to appreciate his time there, lest to say assimilate and contribute. It is with this full awareness that Killmonger gets the humble clarity to decline his cousin T'challa's kind offer to preserve his life, taking accountability over the short-lived but grave carnage he inflicted upon his homeland. Death itself being the honourable act of reconciliation and coming to peace, with T'challa giving him a proper Wakandian warrior's burial.

This turn of events is swift and grim, and it is sad to see the character depart. However the convincing reconciliation's speed of a panther's sprint, makes this character's arc of development and dynamics with others extremely commendable, distinguishing it from all of other Marvel's conflicted relationships. After all quality need not be tied to the bondage of time.

Movie Mayhem with God: Split

The opportunity to watch Split came as an early Christmas present when I won tickets for its surprise screening (contestants did not know what the movie was during entry). Warning of some spoilers here. This blog entry is less of a review and critique, but really more of a personal reflection, since the theme of this movie delves into a very personal area, which is mental health.

As the name of the movie suggests, the main antagonist of the movie is someone who literally disintegrates into many different personalities (dissociative personality disorder), in a bid to deal with the childhood trauma. Of course the movie heavily dramatises and exaggerates the horror of the mental condition. However, it does point towards the very real topic of the vulnerability versus strength of the human psyche.

A month ago, while I was trying to help a friend M deal with her recent bipolar mania outburst, my mother was worried for me, stating she did not want me to be affected by M. Now that 2016 is coming to its close and I am doing so introspective reflecting, I think it is time to take stock of some ideas and emotions.

Firstly, it seems that no matter anything, big or small, good or bad, event or person, it seems that it will definitely have an effect on us. Even no effect, is not really no effect in a strict sense, but a lack of instead. Then if every event, person plays out on us so inescapably, what are we do to with it, since there is no hiding.

This then brings us to the next point. My Spiritual Director Roselie always emphasized to me on differentiating between reacting and responding. I was not too clear about distinguishing between them initially, though now I have a better idea. Reacting indicates a vulnerability in the self, whereas responding is a showcase of one’s strength.

Both protagonist Casey and antagonist Kevin have been subject to childhood abuse. However for Casey, despite being trapped in whatever dire situation she is, steels herself in strength, such that eventually she is able to free herself from physical, psychological and emotional entrapments. For Kevin, his entanglement in the dismal conditions causes him to psychologically and emotionally disintegrate, in his bid to seek vindication for all the ill treatment he had suffered. The key between both is not the brokenness, but whether one falls apart due to the impact of the blows.

There was no slack in the blows dealt to me in 2016. I can no longer look at the Singa Lion simplistically ever again. However, I now enjoy the snide and snarky jokes I crack with my boyfriend about Singa’s trousers. Maybe this verbal stripping gives me just the comfort I need against what had happened. The watermelon and water pipe jokes he cracks while referencing to Lionel Shriver’s “We Need to Talk about Kevin”, are oral punches which he helps me fling out, directed at how some closest to me, who perceived me as a monster while on one hand conducting a welcoming pretense. These jibing sessions of ours are cushioned in the comfort of our private fellowship with one another, away from others to maintain a respect distance not to offend and antagonise anyone.

I pray hard when I examine these broken pieces which lie in front of me. The cracks are very visible, but thankfully I know to take care not to exert too much pressure on them lest they finally snap. Indeed now is not the time yet for these pieces. Meanwhile I turn over to look at the huge fissures of my mental breakdowns in 2006 and 2012, and find to my delight that their traces have paled into patterns which are able to bear the weight of any gentle stroking. Meanwhile I wish M all the best in dealing with her own factures. I hope that she understands too these strokes of beauty, and that there needs not be any shame behind them. May God bless her such that they also slowly fade and dim away.