Today's post is more of a lament. There is no grudge, anger, hatred against anyone, just sadness.
For those few book lovers out there, I'm sure you are aware that yet another bookstore in Singapore has fallen. This time it is the giant Borders. For me, I've grown up with this passion for books. By that I do not just mean the actual contents of what is written. The way in which the ideas and concepts of the author are out into creative using the awesome tool of language never ceases to amaze me.
However, never neglect the painstaking effort put in by the publishers to design the cover of the book. As we know that in relationships, no matter how people vehemently deny, appearances play a major factor. Thus the aesthetics of a book serves this purpose too. A beautifully designed book may actually lead an avid book lover to explore new genres/authors they otherwise would have never encountered. This is especially essential for budding future book lovers.
Another similarly immense task is that of those who have to condense the book's essense into a riveting summary, be it brief glimpse of an enthralling plot while not revealing to many spoilers, to grab the potential reader's attention. This concept works similar to that of watching the trailers of up and coming blockbusters of the cinema's next season.
I am forever grateful to my parents, especially my father, who cultivated within me the furvour for books. Without his constant trips with me to the AMK and TP national libraries, I would never have been able to view books for the treasures they are.
To end off, the predecessing written word, the Bible, is also a book. Without it all books would have never come to be. Thus, the demise of books as they are, may actually forebode something to come... However, tonight I will just give thanks to God for the Written Word, and all its other descendants. I will always remember how many re-tries it took for me to finally finish reading the Written Word back to back.
I received my first copy of the Bible during primary 6 from my father. Then I had tried to read it, thinking it was no more than "like a mythology collection". I didn't get to the end of Exodus. With the coming years I always tried but never completed it. It was only in the year which I got baptised was I able to complete all of it, though I had amateur understanding. Now I do re-readings of some otherwise verses which I though I had fully comprehended and gain new insight. God's wisdom will always be revealed through the Written Word, which will in turn influence descendants to produce works of a similar kind to praise Him.
May the conductor (God's Written Word) guide all other instruments of the orchestra (books written by other authors, be it consciously or unconsciously influenced by his Word as we are all his children) to perform heavenly music to the audience's ears (the readers). Amen!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
The "Slap"
Ah... There was a book I bought last year of this title but I haven't had the time to read it yet. Lent it to my sister though. She felt that though the concept of the book was not bad, the overall effect didn't really live up to her expectation.
Ok, here's it coming. Praise to God that for work and family wise everything has proceeded on smooth, albeit me coming down with a nasty cough on tuesday night. Pray to God I recover soon so no one else gets it.
However with regard to a certain matter, things really went sour. I won't give too much details as I do not want to offend her, but this incident basically resulted in us no longer being friends, not even aquantainces. Of course for me I hope it will never ever result in us being enemies which is why I am writing this now to pray for God to give me wisdom and tact to proceed on further if things get really nasty.
Just a very short reflection of the incident on my part:
I have previously been very very confused about the concept of God answering our prayers and the issue of needs vs. wants, as we all know that famous verse which I will quote later at the end of the blog. Through this incident, I give praise to Him that He has finally revealed it to me very very clearly. In this world, what is a need/want to us is subjective as everyone's value judgements are different, thus no human being is capable of being totally just in appropriate what is a need/want to someone else. Throughout this incident, I have been brash and made errors on my part, of which I have to bear consequences. However, He has guided me through in a damage-control way, by providing me with family and friends who have given me wise counsel and advice as well as healthy moral support. From this I have seen what are the wants He has desired and bestowed me and I really thank Him for them. May you continue to bless them.
Praise be to God. Amen!
"Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find"
Matthew 7:7, Luke 11:9
"For I know the plans I have for you.. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. "
Jeremiah 29:11
Ok, here's it coming. Praise to God that for work and family wise everything has proceeded on smooth, albeit me coming down with a nasty cough on tuesday night. Pray to God I recover soon so no one else gets it.
However with regard to a certain matter, things really went sour. I won't give too much details as I do not want to offend her, but this incident basically resulted in us no longer being friends, not even aquantainces. Of course for me I hope it will never ever result in us being enemies which is why I am writing this now to pray for God to give me wisdom and tact to proceed on further if things get really nasty.
Just a very short reflection of the incident on my part:
I have previously been very very confused about the concept of God answering our prayers and the issue of needs vs. wants, as we all know that famous verse which I will quote later at the end of the blog. Through this incident, I give praise to Him that He has finally revealed it to me very very clearly. In this world, what is a need/want to us is subjective as everyone's value judgements are different, thus no human being is capable of being totally just in appropriate what is a need/want to someone else. Throughout this incident, I have been brash and made errors on my part, of which I have to bear consequences. However, He has guided me through in a damage-control way, by providing me with family and friends who have given me wise counsel and advice as well as healthy moral support. From this I have seen what are the wants He has desired and bestowed me and I really thank Him for them. May you continue to bless them.
Praise be to God. Amen!
"Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find"
Matthew 7:7, Luke 11:9
"For I know the plans I have for you.. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. "
Jeremiah 29:11
Monday, January 10, 2011
Virtue in the phrase "By virtue"
I'm taking a hiatus off my original topic for another topic which has really bothered me for the past 2-3 months. I'll admit it, it was so bad that it really seriously threathened my faith in Him...
Working life has always been a vey touchy issue for me, it ranks so high that it usurps that of my worries over my family, not getting a boyfriend, etc... This is due to my personal trial 5-6 years ago when battling unemployment. Thankfully it was this unemployment drought that had brought me to Him and made me accept Him as personal Lord and Saviour. That's the upside.
However the downside is, even though I am in a fairly stable post in my current workplace, the insecurity lies low, like a zombie coming out to haunt me every now and then when something crops up.
In the previous 4-5 months, I had have a change of management in my department. Things didn't turn sour between my new supevsior and me immediately. However it sort of "germinated" slowly... There were (and still are) some issues that I have with some reforms/duty allocation she has implemented, as from my experiences learnt from my former supervisor (now a dear friend and mentor of mine), I know that these implementations will turn out to be contentious in our department, and even problematic.
However it didn't help that I wasn't able to make my POV known to my supervisor in a calm manner. Thus from then on my relationship with her has gotten very rocky and has even affected the dynamics of the whole department. (A bit of a clarification: ever since her entry, the entire dynamics of our department team has soured into a kind of clique forming, alignment-switching to and fro which really irks me).
I had spoken to many people in the workplace about it, the HR Manager, another close colleague in an unrelated department, my ex-supervisor now mentor, another close mentor. I was so frustrated with how (at least this was how I viewed) someone who openly espouses Christ-like values, does some things in very un-Christ-like manner. I was wondering where God had "gone on holiday to"...
Things sort of erupted over last friday into today. Last friday each member of the department was called in to have a 1to1 talk with her alone. For me, I preferred having everyone "thrash things out in the face of each other", so that we could resolve things once and for all... Seems to be naivete on my part as it didn't materialise... But the far worse thing happened today when we 3 department staff received a joint warning email from the Big Head...
Frankly, I was (and still am) very offended over some terms used in the email. To me, the situation depicted by our sup to the BH wasn't very accurate, as our BH hasn't heard our side of the story, and she immediately used very nasty terms to describe our work performance/attitude in the email. I felt (and still feel) that these are urgent essential issues that require immediate attention or else it will be to the detriment of the entire organisation.
When I read the email I was so upset that I had to find a corner to let out my frustration to Him. However thankfully my supervisor wasn't around today during the sending of the email or there might have been a very nasty confrontation between us two. Through His prompting, I immdiately got my 2 mentors and the close colleague to pray for spiritual and emotional strength, afterwhich I went through the email carefully, tactfully composing out in point form some of the areas I wish to address, before going in to speak to the HR Manager.
In case you're wondering, no, there wasn't any instantaneous quick fix but I at least put the argument out in a calm and convincing manner to someone of a certain amount of authority so that they will at least come to attention that what is amiss here does not lie totally with us 3 department staff. Anyway that's besides the point.
As my ex-supervisor now mentor was very concerned for me, we met up after work to have a heart-to-heart talk. After hearing me out, she basically summarised what she felt was the crux of the issue where it related to me:
1. Since I can proudly say I have fulfiled all my allocated work duties responsibly within my time frame, I have no need to feel frustration/burden over the negative assessment of our department by the current supervisor and the BH. It is simply not within my control.
2. The animosity between my supervisor and me is a case of my lack of respect and her lack of trust... Which is the chicken/egg is not the issue here. As my mentor put it simply "You can dislike her character/ways, etc, but respect the position she is in". This mirrors the phrase used by the HR Manager when I feedbacked my frustration when it was germinating in the initial stage. She had then put it very politely but bluntly that "though my views are valid, I must follow the orders, by virtue that she is my supervisor".
I think then I had been very upset and would snort whenever I thought of the term "by virtue".
It smacked of irony when I analysed that the implementations and the supervisor's way of carrying them out showed no "virtue" at all. Upon reflecting and praying to Him, I've come to see the phrase in God's light. The judging of my supervisor/her ways/character, I will leave to Him as I too know I myself am imperfect.
BUT....in the phrase of "by virtue", the virtue that is in the phrase is what God is wanting to germinate in me! Put simply, this is an opportunity that God has given me to further cultivate the fruit of the Spirit. Just in church service last Sunday, the Pastor mention one quote which hit me.
"When you ask God for something, God give you opportunities to get it. The rest is up to you. When you ask God for love, he gives you the chance to show love; when you pray to Him for patience, he challenges you with instances for excersing patience and so on".
What behaviour/ways are that of others do not matter. What matters is that I do not miss this golden opportunity of letting God's fruit grow better. Amen.
"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free."
Romans 6:7-8
Working life has always been a vey touchy issue for me, it ranks so high that it usurps that of my worries over my family, not getting a boyfriend, etc... This is due to my personal trial 5-6 years ago when battling unemployment. Thankfully it was this unemployment drought that had brought me to Him and made me accept Him as personal Lord and Saviour. That's the upside.
However the downside is, even though I am in a fairly stable post in my current workplace, the insecurity lies low, like a zombie coming out to haunt me every now and then when something crops up.
In the previous 4-5 months, I had have a change of management in my department. Things didn't turn sour between my new supevsior and me immediately. However it sort of "germinated" slowly... There were (and still are) some issues that I have with some reforms/duty allocation she has implemented, as from my experiences learnt from my former supervisor (now a dear friend and mentor of mine), I know that these implementations will turn out to be contentious in our department, and even problematic.
However it didn't help that I wasn't able to make my POV known to my supervisor in a calm manner. Thus from then on my relationship with her has gotten very rocky and has even affected the dynamics of the whole department. (A bit of a clarification: ever since her entry, the entire dynamics of our department team has soured into a kind of clique forming, alignment-switching to and fro which really irks me).
I had spoken to many people in the workplace about it, the HR Manager, another close colleague in an unrelated department, my ex-supervisor now mentor, another close mentor. I was so frustrated with how (at least this was how I viewed) someone who openly espouses Christ-like values, does some things in very un-Christ-like manner. I was wondering where God had "gone on holiday to"...
Things sort of erupted over last friday into today. Last friday each member of the department was called in to have a 1to1 talk with her alone. For me, I preferred having everyone "thrash things out in the face of each other", so that we could resolve things once and for all... Seems to be naivete on my part as it didn't materialise... But the far worse thing happened today when we 3 department staff received a joint warning email from the Big Head...
Frankly, I was (and still am) very offended over some terms used in the email. To me, the situation depicted by our sup to the BH wasn't very accurate, as our BH hasn't heard our side of the story, and she immediately used very nasty terms to describe our work performance/attitude in the email. I felt (and still feel) that these are urgent essential issues that require immediate attention or else it will be to the detriment of the entire organisation.
When I read the email I was so upset that I had to find a corner to let out my frustration to Him. However thankfully my supervisor wasn't around today during the sending of the email or there might have been a very nasty confrontation between us two. Through His prompting, I immdiately got my 2 mentors and the close colleague to pray for spiritual and emotional strength, afterwhich I went through the email carefully, tactfully composing out in point form some of the areas I wish to address, before going in to speak to the HR Manager.
In case you're wondering, no, there wasn't any instantaneous quick fix but I at least put the argument out in a calm and convincing manner to someone of a certain amount of authority so that they will at least come to attention that what is amiss here does not lie totally with us 3 department staff. Anyway that's besides the point.
As my ex-supervisor now mentor was very concerned for me, we met up after work to have a heart-to-heart talk. After hearing me out, she basically summarised what she felt was the crux of the issue where it related to me:
1. Since I can proudly say I have fulfiled all my allocated work duties responsibly within my time frame, I have no need to feel frustration/burden over the negative assessment of our department by the current supervisor and the BH. It is simply not within my control.
2. The animosity between my supervisor and me is a case of my lack of respect and her lack of trust... Which is the chicken/egg is not the issue here. As my mentor put it simply "You can dislike her character/ways, etc, but respect the position she is in". This mirrors the phrase used by the HR Manager when I feedbacked my frustration when it was germinating in the initial stage. She had then put it very politely but bluntly that "though my views are valid, I must follow the orders, by virtue that she is my supervisor".
I think then I had been very upset and would snort whenever I thought of the term "by virtue".
It smacked of irony when I analysed that the implementations and the supervisor's way of carrying them out showed no "virtue" at all. Upon reflecting and praying to Him, I've come to see the phrase in God's light. The judging of my supervisor/her ways/character, I will leave to Him as I too know I myself am imperfect.
BUT....in the phrase of "by virtue", the virtue that is in the phrase is what God is wanting to germinate in me! Put simply, this is an opportunity that God has given me to further cultivate the fruit of the Spirit. Just in church service last Sunday, the Pastor mention one quote which hit me.
"When you ask God for something, God give you opportunities to get it. The rest is up to you. When you ask God for love, he gives you the chance to show love; when you pray to Him for patience, he challenges you with instances for excersing patience and so on".
What behaviour/ways are that of others do not matter. What matters is that I do not miss this golden opportunity of letting God's fruit grow better. Amen.
"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free."
Romans 6:7-8
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Wedding Ang Pao
So many minute incidents have happened in the last 3 weeks that I haven't had the time to sort the message from Him behind them, before the very next one appeared. However, they are all interrelated.
3 weeks ago, I was due to attend the wedding of a former pri sch friend whom I lost contact with for quite a long period of time. Of course, when you attend weddings, you are expected to give a gift or ang pao of a courteous amount. The Ebenezer Scrooge in me wasn't exactly too happy with it (You appear out of nowhere after such a long time and the immediate thing you do is to bomb me... Worse, I have no chance of recouping my loss in the near future as I have no bf...). I called up a fellow friend of ours (I am much closer to her as we have been in close contact even after we left pri school) who was also invited, and told her the amount I felt was appropriate, seeking her advice. Now on retrospect, it was more of asking for affirmation rather than advice. My friend honestly rebuked me for my miserliness, telling me off on the importance of being courteous in social protocol, as it would reflect badly on my character. However, my temporal blindness led me to say a very nasty remark to her about whether she was afraid I would be scroogy at her future wedding. Thankfully she was calm enough to give me a final scolding and hung up quickly without giving me any further chance to spoil our relationship.
After calming down, I was reminded our the verse my cell group had just discussed about that very night, before I had made this errant call. Then God's word hit me...again. By segregating those around me in those which I showed more or less favour, I was practising the very "unjust scales" which I so was so very disgusted against! Worse of all, this act of segregation actually worked against me by pushing away those whom I held dear, in this situation the friend who rebuked me. The amount in the next day's ang pao is a forever a secret between me and Him, but I know He spoke very clearly, that if you treat the bride in such a disrespectful manner, regardless of what her intentions of inviting you are, you are not just going to lose her as an aquaintance, you will lose this other one close to you as well....
Well, attending the wedding banquet turned out to be a very enjoyable outing for me to catch up with that dear friend and another close friend. Of course the 3 of us did some girl bitching (e.g. critiquing the banquet menu/wedding gowns/photo albums/groom's height... :P) which we haven't had the opportunity to do since a long time. Thankfully God's warning prevented this wonderful gathering from having never occurred...
Thanksgiving Prayer
1. The 2 close friends of mine. If you are reading this, you will know who you are. May God bless you all the way. Uncle P and Prince Roy each are very blessed to have the 2 of you as the bride of their life... :)
2. My cell group for having chosen to go through that verse that very night, just in time to knock sense into me... Really, there is a time for everything... Talk about timliness....
3. The bride and groom of the wedding. God bless you for your union. You 2 looked especially cool in Japanese style section (bride in kimono, groom in Japanese warlord suit) of the photo album.
I'll conclude this part of the serial blog with the verse from that night. Follow up will come soon, before it gets wiped off my memory due to complacency.
For God shows no favouritism. --- Romans 2:11
3 weeks ago, I was due to attend the wedding of a former pri sch friend whom I lost contact with for quite a long period of time. Of course, when you attend weddings, you are expected to give a gift or ang pao of a courteous amount. The Ebenezer Scrooge in me wasn't exactly too happy with it (You appear out of nowhere after such a long time and the immediate thing you do is to bomb me... Worse, I have no chance of recouping my loss in the near future as I have no bf...). I called up a fellow friend of ours (I am much closer to her as we have been in close contact even after we left pri school) who was also invited, and told her the amount I felt was appropriate, seeking her advice. Now on retrospect, it was more of asking for affirmation rather than advice. My friend honestly rebuked me for my miserliness, telling me off on the importance of being courteous in social protocol, as it would reflect badly on my character. However, my temporal blindness led me to say a very nasty remark to her about whether she was afraid I would be scroogy at her future wedding. Thankfully she was calm enough to give me a final scolding and hung up quickly without giving me any further chance to spoil our relationship.
After calming down, I was reminded our the verse my cell group had just discussed about that very night, before I had made this errant call. Then God's word hit me...again. By segregating those around me in those which I showed more or less favour, I was practising the very "unjust scales" which I so was so very disgusted against! Worse of all, this act of segregation actually worked against me by pushing away those whom I held dear, in this situation the friend who rebuked me. The amount in the next day's ang pao is a forever a secret between me and Him, but I know He spoke very clearly, that if you treat the bride in such a disrespectful manner, regardless of what her intentions of inviting you are, you are not just going to lose her as an aquaintance, you will lose this other one close to you as well....
Well, attending the wedding banquet turned out to be a very enjoyable outing for me to catch up with that dear friend and another close friend. Of course the 3 of us did some girl bitching (e.g. critiquing the banquet menu/wedding gowns/photo albums/groom's height... :P) which we haven't had the opportunity to do since a long time. Thankfully God's warning prevented this wonderful gathering from having never occurred...
Thanksgiving Prayer
1. The 2 close friends of mine. If you are reading this, you will know who you are. May God bless you all the way. Uncle P and Prince Roy each are very blessed to have the 2 of you as the bride of their life... :)
2. My cell group for having chosen to go through that verse that very night, just in time to knock sense into me... Really, there is a time for everything... Talk about timliness....
3. The bride and groom of the wedding. God bless you for your union. You 2 looked especially cool in Japanese style section (bride in kimono, groom in Japanese warlord suit) of the photo album.
I'll conclude this part of the serial blog with the verse from that night. Follow up will come soon, before it gets wiped off my memory due to complacency.
For God shows no favouritism. --- Romans 2:11
Friday, November 19, 2010
The Bubble Tea Test and The "Bargain" Test
The bubble tea craze seems to be on a resurgence mode. One has only to look at the queue at the Koi outlets to know. One friend of mine dubbed it as "The teens'4D queue". :P
Anyway, today' reflections are brought about by 2 seemingly unrelated incidents, one with bubble tea, the other with work. Last night after dinner, I popped by the Koi outlet in Toa Payoh for an order. To make my efficient use of my time, I went off to purchase something else in a nearby shop, instead of waiting there for my queue number to appear. When I returned, naturally my number had been over. In the usual scenario, similar to that of collection of meds in polyclinic/hospital, if your queue number has passed, they would leave your items in the "outstanding" corner for collection when you produce your queue number. However when I went there, seems that my order had been "bubble-tea-nappped". The person at the collection counter was quite apologetic and offered to make it promptly. Thankfully I wasn't in a foul mood yesterday and was happy to accept. When I left with my bubble-tea, then a not-so-wise thought crossed my mind. In the case of the store, you pay immediately after you place your order and a queue number is printed, without specifiying the actual description of the order. The descriptions of the order are in their database only between the time the order is has been made and the collection. Once the order has been collected and the queue number ticket returned, it is deleted from the database. Which means that I could have up-sized/increase/upgraded my order. It was only after I left when I realised this and sighed to myself for losing such a bargain.
Well, God taught me a nasty lesson by having me drop me bubble tea on the deck of the bus. Luckily, it did not spill out onto the bus but seeped into the plastic carrier bag. Yucks...
After my cell group that night, did I realise something figuratively similar to this had happened in the workplace, albeit in a slight change of scenario and sequence. Think of it as having been given a upsized bubble-tea order and having walked off half-way only to discover it. Should I return with the bargain and tell them my original order?
As I do not intend to disclose any details, let's just summarize it as me being given the opportunity for getting a "bargain" with working hours for a company event. Initially when I was given this offer, I was overjoyed as it meant I could get more with doing less. However when I reflected on the bubble tea incident with this, did I see the enormity of the bargain. What if, after I get the "bargain", everyone else starts demanding for it too? Even if I did not care about what others think/comment/do, do I deserve it? Quite honestly, no. Despite trying to reassure myself that it was offered by someone of authority, though verbally only, I still couldn't put myself at ease. Even if the entire world (except the one who came up with the offer of course) were ignorant on the matter, God knows fully well that by accepting this offer, it is disobedience to Him. Thankfully I made the wise choice then.
In today's service at church, the pastor was preaching on how everyone of us is equipped within our means to serve God. The only issue now lies in the age-long thing of choice: whether or not we choose to obey God. One especially memorable concept raised by the pastor is that obedience is about one's attitudes, not actions. Applying it in the above two events:
1. Bubble-tea test: correct action, wrong attitude = fail... :(
2."Bargain" test: correct in both action and attitude, though I almost made the great folly being wrong in both. Phew! :)
As the pastor concluded with my current favourite verse from God's Word, to check whether you are truly obeying Him, or you are too distracted by other people, issues, even yourself, just read this verse outloud and answer yourself honestly. I think it works very well for me. As least the bargain test proved it!
If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? YOU MUST FOLLOW ME.
John 21:22
Anyway, today' reflections are brought about by 2 seemingly unrelated incidents, one with bubble tea, the other with work. Last night after dinner, I popped by the Koi outlet in Toa Payoh for an order. To make my efficient use of my time, I went off to purchase something else in a nearby shop, instead of waiting there for my queue number to appear. When I returned, naturally my number had been over. In the usual scenario, similar to that of collection of meds in polyclinic/hospital, if your queue number has passed, they would leave your items in the "outstanding" corner for collection when you produce your queue number. However when I went there, seems that my order had been "bubble-tea-nappped". The person at the collection counter was quite apologetic and offered to make it promptly. Thankfully I wasn't in a foul mood yesterday and was happy to accept. When I left with my bubble-tea, then a not-so-wise thought crossed my mind. In the case of the store, you pay immediately after you place your order and a queue number is printed, without specifiying the actual description of the order. The descriptions of the order are in their database only between the time the order is has been made and the collection. Once the order has been collected and the queue number ticket returned, it is deleted from the database. Which means that I could have up-sized/increase/upgraded my order. It was only after I left when I realised this and sighed to myself for losing such a bargain.
Well, God taught me a nasty lesson by having me drop me bubble tea on the deck of the bus. Luckily, it did not spill out onto the bus but seeped into the plastic carrier bag. Yucks...
After my cell group that night, did I realise something figuratively similar to this had happened in the workplace, albeit in a slight change of scenario and sequence. Think of it as having been given a upsized bubble-tea order and having walked off half-way only to discover it. Should I return with the bargain and tell them my original order?
As I do not intend to disclose any details, let's just summarize it as me being given the opportunity for getting a "bargain" with working hours for a company event. Initially when I was given this offer, I was overjoyed as it meant I could get more with doing less. However when I reflected on the bubble tea incident with this, did I see the enormity of the bargain. What if, after I get the "bargain", everyone else starts demanding for it too? Even if I did not care about what others think/comment/do, do I deserve it? Quite honestly, no. Despite trying to reassure myself that it was offered by someone of authority, though verbally only, I still couldn't put myself at ease. Even if the entire world (except the one who came up with the offer of course) were ignorant on the matter, God knows fully well that by accepting this offer, it is disobedience to Him. Thankfully I made the wise choice then.
In today's service at church, the pastor was preaching on how everyone of us is equipped within our means to serve God. The only issue now lies in the age-long thing of choice: whether or not we choose to obey God. One especially memorable concept raised by the pastor is that obedience is about one's attitudes, not actions. Applying it in the above two events:
1. Bubble-tea test: correct action, wrong attitude = fail... :(
2."Bargain" test: correct in both action and attitude, though I almost made the great folly being wrong in both. Phew! :)
As the pastor concluded with my current favourite verse from God's Word, to check whether you are truly obeying Him, or you are too distracted by other people, issues, even yourself, just read this verse outloud and answer yourself honestly. I think it works very well for me. As least the bargain test proved it!
If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? YOU MUST FOLLOW ME.
John 21:22
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Temptation of Jaywalking
It's been a long hiatus. I've strayed awayed for a long time. Hadn't able to pinpoint the problem until service yesterday. God had been speaking to me subtly, through my quiet time with Him & BSF study, through the times when reading Francis Chan's "Crazy Love", and through listening to Hebe's latest album "To Hebe". Guessing I was there physically but not spiritually throughout...
Now on retrospect, it seems very apt that I came back to him yesterday, which also happened to be my Dad's birthday. I had been so busy with work and preparing for my Dad's birthday that I had forgotten that his actual birthday was yesterday, and not today, as I mistakenly concluded. I had remembered the exact date but somehow the date did not fit with the day of the week that was imprinted in my mind.... I think that's the way we treat God many times...We think we remember something when actually we end up missing the deadline/timing due to using our own calendar, which is faulty. Just look at the Singapore Swimming Team's fiasco at the recent Commonwealth Games.
This brings us to the topic of timing. Yesterday's service was on the 4 major wars Joshua led the Israelites to win to obtain the Promised Land. The 1st three had God's very obvious manifestation (i.e. falling of the walls of Jericho, the sun stopping, etc). The last one though was a long war, where it seems, there was no miraculous showing of God's power.
Wait! God did show his power, though it was indirect. It was through the Israelites' clinging onto His promise of being with them throughout, were they able to emerge victourious. People who do not know the situation may attribute this victory to the Israelites' own ability and perserverance. However, what they don't know was that the ability and perserverance was backed by love, faith and belief in God... (To get a better idea of this passage, please read Joshua and also tune into the recording of this service on my church's website, www.trinity.com).
For us who have accepted Christ, we are more than too familiar with the bridge analogy. Here I'll make a little change to it, use the traffic light instead, though it's not logical in the human way. My relationship with God is that going to The Destination. After consulting many maps, bus guides, I've realised that I HAVE to cross a seeminly narrow road and using the other side to get to the destination and I did. For the case of the traffic light on Jesus, when I was on the side which is not his route, his light is ALWAYS BRIGHT GREEN, beckoning us to cross. However once on his side while waiting for the bus/vehicle, I start growing impatient, uneasy, worried and panicky. What if I end up late? What if this route isn't right afterall? The thought of crossing back to the other side to try a different route surfaces. Jesus' traffic light now the FLASHES BRIGHT RED warning me of the dangers of going back. However the temptation of jaywalking back is so great as the road looks so quiet and peaceful with no vehicles. What I did not realise was there were hidden dangers. When I had just stretched wide on the road while the other still on Jesus' side, many vehicles had appeared out of nowhere, brushing by me, causing me fear. Should I just dash across or quiclyly pull back this wayward foot? Yesterday I had pulled my foot back and am thankfully in one piece.
For those who have either like me, put their foot on the way back to the other side or worse, still are now stuck in the middle of the road with vehicles zooming by at high speed, from my experience, turn to God's side and look at the Jesus traffic light and pray. Before you realise, it has become GREEN to go back to God safely. Once back on God's side, thank Him. Just thank Him.
I'll conclude today with some lyrics of the song "超级玛丽" from Hebe's album "To Hebe". Though the song is not entirely appropriate, part of the lyrics has seems very apt, at least for me. Since I'm already on God's side, why am I bothered on what seems so attractive on the other side that I want to jaywalk cross? It turns out that while strolling down the lane on God's side, I actually see so much more scenery... Who knows, maybe there are some on the other side who are envious of me being on God's side...
其实一条马路的距离 有时真的不用过去
再美的风景看在眼里 也可以好好放进心里
日升又日落人来又人往 玛丽偶尔抬起头看看自己
在别人眼里自己 自己也许也是风景
Now on retrospect, it seems very apt that I came back to him yesterday, which also happened to be my Dad's birthday. I had been so busy with work and preparing for my Dad's birthday that I had forgotten that his actual birthday was yesterday, and not today, as I mistakenly concluded. I had remembered the exact date but somehow the date did not fit with the day of the week that was imprinted in my mind.... I think that's the way we treat God many times...We think we remember something when actually we end up missing the deadline/timing due to using our own calendar, which is faulty. Just look at the Singapore Swimming Team's fiasco at the recent Commonwealth Games.
This brings us to the topic of timing. Yesterday's service was on the 4 major wars Joshua led the Israelites to win to obtain the Promised Land. The 1st three had God's very obvious manifestation (i.e. falling of the walls of Jericho, the sun stopping, etc). The last one though was a long war, where it seems, there was no miraculous showing of God's power.
Wait! God did show his power, though it was indirect. It was through the Israelites' clinging onto His promise of being with them throughout, were they able to emerge victourious. People who do not know the situation may attribute this victory to the Israelites' own ability and perserverance. However, what they don't know was that the ability and perserverance was backed by love, faith and belief in God... (To get a better idea of this passage, please read Joshua and also tune into the recording of this service on my church's website, www.trinity.com).
For us who have accepted Christ, we are more than too familiar with the bridge analogy. Here I'll make a little change to it, use the traffic light instead, though it's not logical in the human way. My relationship with God is that going to The Destination. After consulting many maps, bus guides, I've realised that I HAVE to cross a seeminly narrow road and using the other side to get to the destination and I did. For the case of the traffic light on Jesus, when I was on the side which is not his route, his light is ALWAYS BRIGHT GREEN, beckoning us to cross. However once on his side while waiting for the bus/vehicle, I start growing impatient, uneasy, worried and panicky. What if I end up late? What if this route isn't right afterall? The thought of crossing back to the other side to try a different route surfaces. Jesus' traffic light now the FLASHES BRIGHT RED warning me of the dangers of going back. However the temptation of jaywalking back is so great as the road looks so quiet and peaceful with no vehicles. What I did not realise was there were hidden dangers. When I had just stretched wide on the road while the other still on Jesus' side, many vehicles had appeared out of nowhere, brushing by me, causing me fear. Should I just dash across or quiclyly pull back this wayward foot? Yesterday I had pulled my foot back and am thankfully in one piece.
For those who have either like me, put their foot on the way back to the other side or worse, still are now stuck in the middle of the road with vehicles zooming by at high speed, from my experience, turn to God's side and look at the Jesus traffic light and pray. Before you realise, it has become GREEN to go back to God safely. Once back on God's side, thank Him. Just thank Him.
I'll conclude today with some lyrics of the song "超级玛丽" from Hebe's album "To Hebe". Though the song is not entirely appropriate, part of the lyrics has seems very apt, at least for me. Since I'm already on God's side, why am I bothered on what seems so attractive on the other side that I want to jaywalk cross? It turns out that while strolling down the lane on God's side, I actually see so much more scenery... Who knows, maybe there are some on the other side who are envious of me being on God's side...
其实一条马路的距离 有时真的不用过去
再美的风景看在眼里 也可以好好放进心里
日升又日落人来又人往 玛丽偶尔抬起头看看自己
在别人眼里自己 自己也许也是风景
Monday, August 9, 2010
Shelter from the rain
Watched the musical "December Rains" this National Day eve night with two friends and my cousin. Turns out that night I wasn't in very good emotional state due to some matters. This affected my mood so much such that during the performance break, I almost broke out into a quarrel with my cousin because she was late when meeting me. Thankfully with one of my friend as a mediator, both of us cooled down quickly before we made a fool of ourselves in public (moreover we happened to be sitting behind one of the major producers and song writer for the musical) . Whew! :P
After the musical, me and my cousin had a heart-to-heart talk where she apologised for her inconsideration for being late, lent a listening ear to my grouses over the matter and gave her advice. Finally, we bummed away the rest of the entire night, she experimenting with her latest Canon camera taking lots of photos and the two of us discussing about the musical.
On the way home next morning, there was a slight shower and luckily I was sheltered all the way home from the bus stop with the newly constructed sheltered walkway.
Upon reflection, I actually saw God speaking to me. In the musical, there was one scene where the female lead was having a quarrel with her mother and the mother replied "The rain is now approaching. You either stay under shelter or make sure your umbrella can wear the storm." One of the songs in the musical that touched me deeply was "我終于看到" (literally meaning "I Finally See"), though the context of the song used in the musical was slight different from how I'm applying it here.
Happens that on the day before the musical, my parents had asked me about the matters of concern and gave me their take and advice, but they had left me to decide. Usually my talks with me parents aren't very constructive, as we often end up quarrelling. This time thankfully it went very peaceful, though I didn't understand the gravity of it then.
When I returned home that National Day morning, I was expecting a big scolding from them but they displayed joyful relief instead. Yes, there were some sarcastic remarks but I could tell how happy they were when they got to know their fears were unfounded. One line my cousin had said from the quarrel struck me then. "You got to stop being so self-centered!"
Maybe with regards to other matters I am not so self-centered, but within my family, I definitely was. I realised how much I took my parents for granted. When all along I thought they couldn't be bothered with me, they were actually on the quiet look-out for me, fearing I may meet with difficulties I couldn't handle. Basically, I saw my parents' love for me in such HD. Its not that I didn't know my parents love me, just that it had become like a head knowledge concept or theory, instead of relationship. Most parents are like shelters, giving their children a place to hide from the storm, so that they down get drenched, just as God is the ultimate shelter for all. It is only under dire circumstances, e.g. heavy rain or a very hot day, do we notice and appreciate these shelters.
This blog is dedicated to my family shelter, my Dad and Mum. May God bless them and my sisters, both in health and spirit. Amen! :)
Psalms 61:4
I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Exodus 20:12
Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
After the musical, me and my cousin had a heart-to-heart talk where she apologised for her inconsideration for being late, lent a listening ear to my grouses over the matter and gave her advice. Finally, we bummed away the rest of the entire night, she experimenting with her latest Canon camera taking lots of photos and the two of us discussing about the musical.
On the way home next morning, there was a slight shower and luckily I was sheltered all the way home from the bus stop with the newly constructed sheltered walkway.
Upon reflection, I actually saw God speaking to me. In the musical, there was one scene where the female lead was having a quarrel with her mother and the mother replied "The rain is now approaching. You either stay under shelter or make sure your umbrella can wear the storm." One of the songs in the musical that touched me deeply was "我終于看到" (literally meaning "I Finally See"), though the context of the song used in the musical was slight different from how I'm applying it here.
Happens that on the day before the musical, my parents had asked me about the matters of concern and gave me their take and advice, but they had left me to decide. Usually my talks with me parents aren't very constructive, as we often end up quarrelling. This time thankfully it went very peaceful, though I didn't understand the gravity of it then.
When I returned home that National Day morning, I was expecting a big scolding from them but they displayed joyful relief instead. Yes, there were some sarcastic remarks but I could tell how happy they were when they got to know their fears were unfounded. One line my cousin had said from the quarrel struck me then. "You got to stop being so self-centered!"
Maybe with regards to other matters I am not so self-centered, but within my family, I definitely was. I realised how much I took my parents for granted. When all along I thought they couldn't be bothered with me, they were actually on the quiet look-out for me, fearing I may meet with difficulties I couldn't handle. Basically, I saw my parents' love for me in such HD. Its not that I didn't know my parents love me, just that it had become like a head knowledge concept or theory, instead of relationship. Most parents are like shelters, giving their children a place to hide from the storm, so that they down get drenched, just as God is the ultimate shelter for all. It is only under dire circumstances, e.g. heavy rain or a very hot day, do we notice and appreciate these shelters.
This blog is dedicated to my family shelter, my Dad and Mum. May God bless them and my sisters, both in health and spirit. Amen! :)
Psalms 61:4
I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Exodus 20:12
Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
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