This
article is actually long overdue. I had been long planning to write a piece
after watching Gone Girl last year, but somehow other stuff came in and took
precedence. Even then, I look upon it as being appropriate, as between this
passage of a year, I have watched other shows, which helped greatly in
formulating this piece.
Gone
Girl is quite a terrifying show, not so much in the actual deed done by the
protagonist Amy, but more of the depth of her psyche that sends chills down
your spine, which is recognisable within each of us. As petrifying her deeds
are, it is merely that she has taken that one decisive step to plot out and
implement those thoughts that had been lurking within her. From her character,
we actually see how close we are, just a step away from becoming that “Amazing
Amy” of a monster.
Gone
Girl is a love story and horror story combined. Actually the male protagonist
Nick Dunne is not much better than his wife Amy, as when the plot unravels we
know of his infidelity behind Amy’s back. However what redeems him, is that
when approaching the end of the movie, he finally masters the meaning of love,
through finally deciding to stay with Amy for the sake of his unborn child. At
that moment, he discards all selfishness and laziness when he could easily just
leave, to ensure that the poor child grows up in an environment with at least
one proper parent to care for him or her. This is unlike Amy who by then has
been so consumed with vengeance, she is oblivious to the fact that the child
she is carrying is a life, and she only sees it as a tool for revenge. The
scene where Nick Dunne pleads for his sister Margo’s psychological and
emotional support, for his decision in staying on with Amy for the sake of the
unborn child, was one which brought tears to my eyes and deeply touched me in a
warped way.
So
ironically I am not worried at all for Nick Dunne as the story closes, because
with the love he has for his unborn child to support him through, and I am sure
he will be ok. However as horrified as I am of Amy, the defining emotion I have
towards her character is of sadness. She has held herself forever captive to
her own psychological and emotional viciousness, and that is actually the worst
punishment imaginable. And this in turn leads to the next topic I’ll touch on,
the nature of romantic love relationships. There is the age old debate, of the
more versus less; pro-ative versus reactive; male versus female, which can go
till no end, and those are not what I’ll like to look into at least for today.
There’s been constant protests by women of when they reject suitors and then
get chided by fellow friends for being picky, about how there’s no
chemistry/feeling, while the friends of the other camo would try to persuade
about learning to appreciate and then love the potential suitors’ qualities.
Actually
both sides have their validity in argument, though timing and context are the
critical points of essence. An increasingly common reason quoted for the
dissolution of marriages, is the dissipation of the romantic gush of emotions
between the two parties. For the luckier ones, it merely becomes bland and the
two parties part on fairly agreeable terms of sorts. For the extremist ones, anger and resentment
breed Gone Girl style, and the aftermath is one of emotional and psychological
bloodshed. This has prompted me to wonder whether there is a concept of the
maturity of romantic love relationships.
Yes,
during the relationship’s infancy stages, feelings and emotions are critical, as
these are factors which attract you to the other party in the first place. Even
the realists who proudly profess that they make relationship decisions solely
based on pragmatism actually have emotions at play, just that it is at a subconscious
level and intricately related to material factors in a direct way (e.g. the
financial prowess of the other party make actually be an indicator of his/her dependability?).
Even then this begs the more critical question. What happens when those
pleasant positive emotions wane in the long future? Classic literature is
abound with plentiful examples of protagonists who have gone on quests to
reclaim that long lost gush of emotions from other lovers (e.g. Anna Karenina,
Madame Bovary). The massive harems that male leaders have in the course of
history are also prime examples attesting to this (King Henry VIII of the Tudor
line anyone?). And sadly the many other
real life cases of the very person in opposite seat in the café where we may
not even notice.
Personally,
I am indeed biased in the sense that I always encourage couples to do their
utmost to try to sustain and work things out. However, I am aware and fully acknowledge
the presence of human limitations in these “utmost” efforts. Thus, ultimately it boils down not so much to
a “letting go versus clinging on” debate, but more of a decision for what is in
the best interests of both parties, while knowing each other’s ability to bear
the consequences of whatever decision is eventually made. As Jesus Christ
already stated in his second direct commandment, this is what it means to love
the other party as yourself, applicable in the romantic context.
P.S. For
those who are curious to the other popular culture cases which inspired me to
reflect and write this piece, I’ll list them down, though they are not quoted
or elaborated above.
On
Call 36 hours - Particularly the couple of 张一健
and 范子妤, though the developments of Benjamin
and 美雪; Lokman and 芊儿; 洋葱and 车车, Moon and David, have all prompted me to do pondering at
some stages
Swingtown
– Susan and Bruce; Janet and Roger; Trina and Tom, and surprisingly even the
romance of Susan’s two children
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