Relationship Thirst: Coffee or Wine?

In the Dream of the Red Mansion《红楼梦》, the protagonist 贾宝玉 often questions about relationship thirst, debating over the theory that men are made of soil and women are made of water. After having been through a series of heart-wrenching events, he eventually deduced that men and women contain both elements.

I've shared with some peers about my relationship escapades, past and present. Strictly speaking they were all prematurely conceived or one-sided (though part of me is still highly suspicious but even then...). Most feedback generated were that my "tactics" employed were suicidal, such that I extinguished any possibility through my forthrightness.

One close friend was very amused over how I still kept in touch with a certain guy for more than a decade, with both me and him still in 暧昧 mode. She had jokingly remarked that this series of happenings between us two could rival the length of Taiwanese drama serials, and that if it were her, she would have lost patience early on.

A mentor of mine from my current workplace had once analysed that if a woman's outlook towards relationships is that she wishes to love the guy more than he loves her, she must be prepared to have patience to wait for the relationship to nurture.

It seems that most my compatriots outlook towards boy-girl relationshps often take the mode of coffee, especially instant coffee. The aim is to settle for something that quenches your thirst as soon as possible, while providing both parties with as much energy to keep awake for the challenges ahead. If the coffee has added creamer, sugar thrown in according to cater to your individual taste bud preference level, all the better.

The attitude I (and some other rarer girl friends) have towards boy-girl relationships is of that of wine. We do not ask for too much. A small sip is enough to open up our appetite to love him more, our digestion of the blessings we have been bestowed everyday. We are also patient in waiting for it to ferment into a top-rate beverage.

However, be it wine or coffee, over-reliance on them to quench thirst runs risk of leading to addiction. I do not need to elaborate the negative and detrimental effects of coffee addiction and alcohol addiction.

Here I need to keep in mind the most important element in all beverages, namely water. Without any fluid, it would cease to function as a beverage. As Jesus Christ has likened himself to being water to quench our spiritual thirst, I would pray for him to lead me toward the exact beverage suited to satisfy and nourish me. Amen!

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
John 4:13-14 (NIV)