This past few months haven't been easy. Wasn't exactly sure of what had gone through both my heart and mind until God's eye-sight test gave a a "shock". Was having a routine morning breakfast talk with my sister when I started to degenrate into the complaining mode again. She, then began rebuking me. What could have been a constructive session broke out into a major quarrel the 2 of us had since quite some time ago. Both of us then retreated to our domains later.
While that moment when I was struggling with whether to let it out by crying and wondering whether I was crying due to self-pity or for my sister, then I heard the Holy Spirit asking the question "Why are you so concerned over what others think?"
It's not that I have never thought of this issue before. Its just that finally in that moment it struck. Suddenly it all made sense. I poured out to God, apologising for how I had been worshipping others around me, instead of Him.
Previously I had always thought the problem with my faith in God was due to self-worship (worshipping of self over God). Turns out I wasn't completely wrong but I had failed to see a crucial and critical point. My perception of self had been constructed based on what others feel, think about me. And as we know, others' perceptions of you are always changing. They will never be stable. That was precisely why I had been going through the rollercoaster of up, down and plateau-riding in mixed combis.
The great thing is that then I realised no matter what happens: God's perception of you NEVER changes. We are always his sheep and he will always love us no matter what. I had placed my base on what others think/view/see about me. As this base always changes, of course the building is unstable and will collapse.
Now that I finally gotten my new spectacles from God, I'll get to building the correct base immediately.
Today's blog is dedicated to all around me who matter so much to me (family, friends, colleagues, that jerk who I can't get over, even those who I just don't see eye to eye), but most of it is dedicated to Him because I always matter to Him no matter what. Hallelujah!
Thing to praise for:
1. Watching late night movie "Inception" later.
2. Going for gym later in afternoon
3. An interesting news article analysis on mega-churches in ST this morning
4. The quarrel with my sister
5. The Holy Spirit for giving me this eye-sight test. Really, its been way overdue. Thanks for it happening!
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave nor forsake you.
John 14: 1,18
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Turst in God; trust also in me."
2 Corinthians 6:18
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters", says the Lord Almighty.
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