So many minute incidents have happened in the last 3 weeks that I haven't had the time to sort the message from Him behind them, before the very next one appeared. However, they are all interrelated.
3 weeks ago, I was due to attend the wedding of a former pri sch friend whom I lost contact with for quite a long period of time. Of course, when you attend weddings, you are expected to give a gift or ang pao of a courteous amount. The Ebenezer Scrooge in me wasn't exactly too happy with it (You appear out of nowhere after such a long time and the immediate thing you do is to bomb me... Worse, I have no chance of recouping my loss in the near future as I have no bf...). I called up a fellow friend of ours (I am much closer to her as we have been in close contact even after we left pri school) who was also invited, and told her the amount I felt was appropriate, seeking her advice. Now on retrospect, it was more of asking for affirmation rather than advice. My friend honestly rebuked me for my miserliness, telling me off on the importance of being courteous in social protocol, as it would reflect badly on my character. However, my temporal blindness led me to say a very nasty remark to her about whether she was afraid I would be scroogy at her future wedding. Thankfully she was calm enough to give me a final scolding and hung up quickly without giving me any further chance to spoil our relationship.
After calming down, I was reminded our the verse my cell group had just discussed about that very night, before I had made this errant call. Then God's word hit me...again. By segregating those around me in those which I showed more or less favour, I was practising the very "unjust scales" which I so was so very disgusted against! Worse of all, this act of segregation actually worked against me by pushing away those whom I held dear, in this situation the friend who rebuked me. The amount in the next day's ang pao is a forever a secret between me and Him, but I know He spoke very clearly, that if you treat the bride in such a disrespectful manner, regardless of what her intentions of inviting you are, you are not just going to lose her as an aquaintance, you will lose this other one close to you as well....
Well, attending the wedding banquet turned out to be a very enjoyable outing for me to catch up with that dear friend and another close friend. Of course the 3 of us did some girl bitching (e.g. critiquing the banquet menu/wedding gowns/photo albums/groom's height... :P) which we haven't had the opportunity to do since a long time. Thankfully God's warning prevented this wonderful gathering from having never occurred...
Thanksgiving Prayer
1. The 2 close friends of mine. If you are reading this, you will know who you are. May God bless you all the way. Uncle P and Prince Roy each are very blessed to have the 2 of you as the bride of their life... :)
2. My cell group for having chosen to go through that verse that very night, just in time to knock sense into me... Really, there is a time for everything... Talk about timliness....
3. The bride and groom of the wedding. God bless you for your union. You 2 looked especially cool in Japanese style section (bride in kimono, groom in Japanese warlord suit) of the photo album.
I'll conclude this part of the serial blog with the verse from that night. Follow up will come soon, before it gets wiped off my memory due to complacency.
For God shows no favouritism. --- Romans 2:11
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
The Bubble Tea Test and The "Bargain" Test
The bubble tea craze seems to be on a resurgence mode. One has only to look at the queue at the Koi outlets to know. One friend of mine dubbed it as "The teens'4D queue". :P
Anyway, today' reflections are brought about by 2 seemingly unrelated incidents, one with bubble tea, the other with work. Last night after dinner, I popped by the Koi outlet in Toa Payoh for an order. To make my efficient use of my time, I went off to purchase something else in a nearby shop, instead of waiting there for my queue number to appear. When I returned, naturally my number had been over. In the usual scenario, similar to that of collection of meds in polyclinic/hospital, if your queue number has passed, they would leave your items in the "outstanding" corner for collection when you produce your queue number. However when I went there, seems that my order had been "bubble-tea-nappped". The person at the collection counter was quite apologetic and offered to make it promptly. Thankfully I wasn't in a foul mood yesterday and was happy to accept. When I left with my bubble-tea, then a not-so-wise thought crossed my mind. In the case of the store, you pay immediately after you place your order and a queue number is printed, without specifiying the actual description of the order. The descriptions of the order are in their database only between the time the order is has been made and the collection. Once the order has been collected and the queue number ticket returned, it is deleted from the database. Which means that I could have up-sized/increase/upgraded my order. It was only after I left when I realised this and sighed to myself for losing such a bargain.
Well, God taught me a nasty lesson by having me drop me bubble tea on the deck of the bus. Luckily, it did not spill out onto the bus but seeped into the plastic carrier bag. Yucks...
After my cell group that night, did I realise something figuratively similar to this had happened in the workplace, albeit in a slight change of scenario and sequence. Think of it as having been given a upsized bubble-tea order and having walked off half-way only to discover it. Should I return with the bargain and tell them my original order?
As I do not intend to disclose any details, let's just summarize it as me being given the opportunity for getting a "bargain" with working hours for a company event. Initially when I was given this offer, I was overjoyed as it meant I could get more with doing less. However when I reflected on the bubble tea incident with this, did I see the enormity of the bargain. What if, after I get the "bargain", everyone else starts demanding for it too? Even if I did not care about what others think/comment/do, do I deserve it? Quite honestly, no. Despite trying to reassure myself that it was offered by someone of authority, though verbally only, I still couldn't put myself at ease. Even if the entire world (except the one who came up with the offer of course) were ignorant on the matter, God knows fully well that by accepting this offer, it is disobedience to Him. Thankfully I made the wise choice then.
In today's service at church, the pastor was preaching on how everyone of us is equipped within our means to serve God. The only issue now lies in the age-long thing of choice: whether or not we choose to obey God. One especially memorable concept raised by the pastor is that obedience is about one's attitudes, not actions. Applying it in the above two events:
1. Bubble-tea test: correct action, wrong attitude = fail... :(
2."Bargain" test: correct in both action and attitude, though I almost made the great folly being wrong in both. Phew! :)
As the pastor concluded with my current favourite verse from God's Word, to check whether you are truly obeying Him, or you are too distracted by other people, issues, even yourself, just read this verse outloud and answer yourself honestly. I think it works very well for me. As least the bargain test proved it!
If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? YOU MUST FOLLOW ME.
John 21:22
Anyway, today' reflections are brought about by 2 seemingly unrelated incidents, one with bubble tea, the other with work. Last night after dinner, I popped by the Koi outlet in Toa Payoh for an order. To make my efficient use of my time, I went off to purchase something else in a nearby shop, instead of waiting there for my queue number to appear. When I returned, naturally my number had been over. In the usual scenario, similar to that of collection of meds in polyclinic/hospital, if your queue number has passed, they would leave your items in the "outstanding" corner for collection when you produce your queue number. However when I went there, seems that my order had been "bubble-tea-nappped". The person at the collection counter was quite apologetic and offered to make it promptly. Thankfully I wasn't in a foul mood yesterday and was happy to accept. When I left with my bubble-tea, then a not-so-wise thought crossed my mind. In the case of the store, you pay immediately after you place your order and a queue number is printed, without specifiying the actual description of the order. The descriptions of the order are in their database only between the time the order is has been made and the collection. Once the order has been collected and the queue number ticket returned, it is deleted from the database. Which means that I could have up-sized/increase/upgraded my order. It was only after I left when I realised this and sighed to myself for losing such a bargain.
Well, God taught me a nasty lesson by having me drop me bubble tea on the deck of the bus. Luckily, it did not spill out onto the bus but seeped into the plastic carrier bag. Yucks...
After my cell group that night, did I realise something figuratively similar to this had happened in the workplace, albeit in a slight change of scenario and sequence. Think of it as having been given a upsized bubble-tea order and having walked off half-way only to discover it. Should I return with the bargain and tell them my original order?
As I do not intend to disclose any details, let's just summarize it as me being given the opportunity for getting a "bargain" with working hours for a company event. Initially when I was given this offer, I was overjoyed as it meant I could get more with doing less. However when I reflected on the bubble tea incident with this, did I see the enormity of the bargain. What if, after I get the "bargain", everyone else starts demanding for it too? Even if I did not care about what others think/comment/do, do I deserve it? Quite honestly, no. Despite trying to reassure myself that it was offered by someone of authority, though verbally only, I still couldn't put myself at ease. Even if the entire world (except the one who came up with the offer of course) were ignorant on the matter, God knows fully well that by accepting this offer, it is disobedience to Him. Thankfully I made the wise choice then.
In today's service at church, the pastor was preaching on how everyone of us is equipped within our means to serve God. The only issue now lies in the age-long thing of choice: whether or not we choose to obey God. One especially memorable concept raised by the pastor is that obedience is about one's attitudes, not actions. Applying it in the above two events:
1. Bubble-tea test: correct action, wrong attitude = fail... :(
2."Bargain" test: correct in both action and attitude, though I almost made the great folly being wrong in both. Phew! :)
As the pastor concluded with my current favourite verse from God's Word, to check whether you are truly obeying Him, or you are too distracted by other people, issues, even yourself, just read this verse outloud and answer yourself honestly. I think it works very well for me. As least the bargain test proved it!
If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? YOU MUST FOLLOW ME.
John 21:22
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Temptation of Jaywalking
It's been a long hiatus. I've strayed awayed for a long time. Hadn't able to pinpoint the problem until service yesterday. God had been speaking to me subtly, through my quiet time with Him & BSF study, through the times when reading Francis Chan's "Crazy Love", and through listening to Hebe's latest album "To Hebe". Guessing I was there physically but not spiritually throughout...
Now on retrospect, it seems very apt that I came back to him yesterday, which also happened to be my Dad's birthday. I had been so busy with work and preparing for my Dad's birthday that I had forgotten that his actual birthday was yesterday, and not today, as I mistakenly concluded. I had remembered the exact date but somehow the date did not fit with the day of the week that was imprinted in my mind.... I think that's the way we treat God many times...We think we remember something when actually we end up missing the deadline/timing due to using our own calendar, which is faulty. Just look at the Singapore Swimming Team's fiasco at the recent Commonwealth Games.
This brings us to the topic of timing. Yesterday's service was on the 4 major wars Joshua led the Israelites to win to obtain the Promised Land. The 1st three had God's very obvious manifestation (i.e. falling of the walls of Jericho, the sun stopping, etc). The last one though was a long war, where it seems, there was no miraculous showing of God's power.
Wait! God did show his power, though it was indirect. It was through the Israelites' clinging onto His promise of being with them throughout, were they able to emerge victourious. People who do not know the situation may attribute this victory to the Israelites' own ability and perserverance. However, what they don't know was that the ability and perserverance was backed by love, faith and belief in God... (To get a better idea of this passage, please read Joshua and also tune into the recording of this service on my church's website, www.trinity.com).
For us who have accepted Christ, we are more than too familiar with the bridge analogy. Here I'll make a little change to it, use the traffic light instead, though it's not logical in the human way. My relationship with God is that going to The Destination. After consulting many maps, bus guides, I've realised that I HAVE to cross a seeminly narrow road and using the other side to get to the destination and I did. For the case of the traffic light on Jesus, when I was on the side which is not his route, his light is ALWAYS BRIGHT GREEN, beckoning us to cross. However once on his side while waiting for the bus/vehicle, I start growing impatient, uneasy, worried and panicky. What if I end up late? What if this route isn't right afterall? The thought of crossing back to the other side to try a different route surfaces. Jesus' traffic light now the FLASHES BRIGHT RED warning me of the dangers of going back. However the temptation of jaywalking back is so great as the road looks so quiet and peaceful with no vehicles. What I did not realise was there were hidden dangers. When I had just stretched wide on the road while the other still on Jesus' side, many vehicles had appeared out of nowhere, brushing by me, causing me fear. Should I just dash across or quiclyly pull back this wayward foot? Yesterday I had pulled my foot back and am thankfully in one piece.
For those who have either like me, put their foot on the way back to the other side or worse, still are now stuck in the middle of the road with vehicles zooming by at high speed, from my experience, turn to God's side and look at the Jesus traffic light and pray. Before you realise, it has become GREEN to go back to God safely. Once back on God's side, thank Him. Just thank Him.
I'll conclude today with some lyrics of the song "超级玛丽" from Hebe's album "To Hebe". Though the song is not entirely appropriate, part of the lyrics has seems very apt, at least for me. Since I'm already on God's side, why am I bothered on what seems so attractive on the other side that I want to jaywalk cross? It turns out that while strolling down the lane on God's side, I actually see so much more scenery... Who knows, maybe there are some on the other side who are envious of me being on God's side...
其实一条马路的距离 有时真的不用过去
再美的风景看在眼里 也可以好好放进心里
日升又日落人来又人往 玛丽偶尔抬起头看看自己
在别人眼里自己 自己也许也是风景
Now on retrospect, it seems very apt that I came back to him yesterday, which also happened to be my Dad's birthday. I had been so busy with work and preparing for my Dad's birthday that I had forgotten that his actual birthday was yesterday, and not today, as I mistakenly concluded. I had remembered the exact date but somehow the date did not fit with the day of the week that was imprinted in my mind.... I think that's the way we treat God many times...We think we remember something when actually we end up missing the deadline/timing due to using our own calendar, which is faulty. Just look at the Singapore Swimming Team's fiasco at the recent Commonwealth Games.
This brings us to the topic of timing. Yesterday's service was on the 4 major wars Joshua led the Israelites to win to obtain the Promised Land. The 1st three had God's very obvious manifestation (i.e. falling of the walls of Jericho, the sun stopping, etc). The last one though was a long war, where it seems, there was no miraculous showing of God's power.
Wait! God did show his power, though it was indirect. It was through the Israelites' clinging onto His promise of being with them throughout, were they able to emerge victourious. People who do not know the situation may attribute this victory to the Israelites' own ability and perserverance. However, what they don't know was that the ability and perserverance was backed by love, faith and belief in God... (To get a better idea of this passage, please read Joshua and also tune into the recording of this service on my church's website, www.trinity.com).
For us who have accepted Christ, we are more than too familiar with the bridge analogy. Here I'll make a little change to it, use the traffic light instead, though it's not logical in the human way. My relationship with God is that going to The Destination. After consulting many maps, bus guides, I've realised that I HAVE to cross a seeminly narrow road and using the other side to get to the destination and I did. For the case of the traffic light on Jesus, when I was on the side which is not his route, his light is ALWAYS BRIGHT GREEN, beckoning us to cross. However once on his side while waiting for the bus/vehicle, I start growing impatient, uneasy, worried and panicky. What if I end up late? What if this route isn't right afterall? The thought of crossing back to the other side to try a different route surfaces. Jesus' traffic light now the FLASHES BRIGHT RED warning me of the dangers of going back. However the temptation of jaywalking back is so great as the road looks so quiet and peaceful with no vehicles. What I did not realise was there were hidden dangers. When I had just stretched wide on the road while the other still on Jesus' side, many vehicles had appeared out of nowhere, brushing by me, causing me fear. Should I just dash across or quiclyly pull back this wayward foot? Yesterday I had pulled my foot back and am thankfully in one piece.
For those who have either like me, put their foot on the way back to the other side or worse, still are now stuck in the middle of the road with vehicles zooming by at high speed, from my experience, turn to God's side and look at the Jesus traffic light and pray. Before you realise, it has become GREEN to go back to God safely. Once back on God's side, thank Him. Just thank Him.
I'll conclude today with some lyrics of the song "超级玛丽" from Hebe's album "To Hebe". Though the song is not entirely appropriate, part of the lyrics has seems very apt, at least for me. Since I'm already on God's side, why am I bothered on what seems so attractive on the other side that I want to jaywalk cross? It turns out that while strolling down the lane on God's side, I actually see so much more scenery... Who knows, maybe there are some on the other side who are envious of me being on God's side...
其实一条马路的距离 有时真的不用过去
再美的风景看在眼里 也可以好好放进心里
日升又日落人来又人往 玛丽偶尔抬起头看看自己
在别人眼里自己 自己也许也是风景
Monday, August 9, 2010
Shelter from the rain
Watched the musical "December Rains" this National Day eve night with two friends and my cousin. Turns out that night I wasn't in very good emotional state due to some matters. This affected my mood so much such that during the performance break, I almost broke out into a quarrel with my cousin because she was late when meeting me. Thankfully with one of my friend as a mediator, both of us cooled down quickly before we made a fool of ourselves in public (moreover we happened to be sitting behind one of the major producers and song writer for the musical) . Whew! :P
After the musical, me and my cousin had a heart-to-heart talk where she apologised for her inconsideration for being late, lent a listening ear to my grouses over the matter and gave her advice. Finally, we bummed away the rest of the entire night, she experimenting with her latest Canon camera taking lots of photos and the two of us discussing about the musical.
On the way home next morning, there was a slight shower and luckily I was sheltered all the way home from the bus stop with the newly constructed sheltered walkway.
Upon reflection, I actually saw God speaking to me. In the musical, there was one scene where the female lead was having a quarrel with her mother and the mother replied "The rain is now approaching. You either stay under shelter or make sure your umbrella can wear the storm." One of the songs in the musical that touched me deeply was "我終于看到" (literally meaning "I Finally See"), though the context of the song used in the musical was slight different from how I'm applying it here.
Happens that on the day before the musical, my parents had asked me about the matters of concern and gave me their take and advice, but they had left me to decide. Usually my talks with me parents aren't very constructive, as we often end up quarrelling. This time thankfully it went very peaceful, though I didn't understand the gravity of it then.
When I returned home that National Day morning, I was expecting a big scolding from them but they displayed joyful relief instead. Yes, there were some sarcastic remarks but I could tell how happy they were when they got to know their fears were unfounded. One line my cousin had said from the quarrel struck me then. "You got to stop being so self-centered!"
Maybe with regards to other matters I am not so self-centered, but within my family, I definitely was. I realised how much I took my parents for granted. When all along I thought they couldn't be bothered with me, they were actually on the quiet look-out for me, fearing I may meet with difficulties I couldn't handle. Basically, I saw my parents' love for me in such HD. Its not that I didn't know my parents love me, just that it had become like a head knowledge concept or theory, instead of relationship. Most parents are like shelters, giving their children a place to hide from the storm, so that they down get drenched, just as God is the ultimate shelter for all. It is only under dire circumstances, e.g. heavy rain or a very hot day, do we notice and appreciate these shelters.
This blog is dedicated to my family shelter, my Dad and Mum. May God bless them and my sisters, both in health and spirit. Amen! :)
Psalms 61:4
I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Exodus 20:12
Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
After the musical, me and my cousin had a heart-to-heart talk where she apologised for her inconsideration for being late, lent a listening ear to my grouses over the matter and gave her advice. Finally, we bummed away the rest of the entire night, she experimenting with her latest Canon camera taking lots of photos and the two of us discussing about the musical.
On the way home next morning, there was a slight shower and luckily I was sheltered all the way home from the bus stop with the newly constructed sheltered walkway.
Upon reflection, I actually saw God speaking to me. In the musical, there was one scene where the female lead was having a quarrel with her mother and the mother replied "The rain is now approaching. You either stay under shelter or make sure your umbrella can wear the storm." One of the songs in the musical that touched me deeply was "我終于看到" (literally meaning "I Finally See"), though the context of the song used in the musical was slight different from how I'm applying it here.
Happens that on the day before the musical, my parents had asked me about the matters of concern and gave me their take and advice, but they had left me to decide. Usually my talks with me parents aren't very constructive, as we often end up quarrelling. This time thankfully it went very peaceful, though I didn't understand the gravity of it then.
When I returned home that National Day morning, I was expecting a big scolding from them but they displayed joyful relief instead. Yes, there were some sarcastic remarks but I could tell how happy they were when they got to know their fears were unfounded. One line my cousin had said from the quarrel struck me then. "You got to stop being so self-centered!"
Maybe with regards to other matters I am not so self-centered, but within my family, I definitely was. I realised how much I took my parents for granted. When all along I thought they couldn't be bothered with me, they were actually on the quiet look-out for me, fearing I may meet with difficulties I couldn't handle. Basically, I saw my parents' love for me in such HD. Its not that I didn't know my parents love me, just that it had become like a head knowledge concept or theory, instead of relationship. Most parents are like shelters, giving their children a place to hide from the storm, so that they down get drenched, just as God is the ultimate shelter for all. It is only under dire circumstances, e.g. heavy rain or a very hot day, do we notice and appreciate these shelters.
This blog is dedicated to my family shelter, my Dad and Mum. May God bless them and my sisters, both in health and spirit. Amen! :)
Psalms 61:4
I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Exodus 20:12
Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Love vs. Like
Hi,
Today's topic will be more of a girls' night topics so if you're a guy, be warned! :P
Was out with a group of non-believer friends, who I'm very close to, celebrating one of their birthday. As in the group, many of them were already hitched, engaged or in a relationship, our conversations quickly delved into that of the "Hey, this guy that used to xxx is now yyy."; "Luckily I swore off guys from the year 19xx" type.
Frankly, I admit that I REALLY HATED this kind of gal outings. They had this nagging reminder effect that, sad to say, there was no guy in physical form around me with substantial feelings for apart from my dad... :P
Thank God, tonight I was able to appreciate the humour from the topic, though I still maintained the position of more of an interested listener with little participation, for fear that my comments would spoil the entire mood. Proves that this decision was indeed a wise one given from God.
On the way home I reflected on the definition of "love" and "like".
Actually the week before, I just had this argument with a guy that I was having a "tug-of-war"ish relationship, ever since my JC years. The two of us always seems to be having this "timing difference", a term which I now dread as I'm doing book-balancing in Finance... :P
Whenever he was ready and enthusiatic, I wasn't and vice versa. Happens that as of late last year, I was warming up again, whereas he was cooling off. Then last monday, after the two of us chatted on his recent plans, I lost control over jealously of a girl he is now interested in. For the past week I was the whiny brat, questioning the "why oh why"s and moaning the "he's a jerk". (Part of my bad mood mentioned in the previous blog is attributed to this). Anyway, thankfully God gave me the optical test already on saturday morning so the very first word I've come to examine with this new pair of God's spectacles is LOVE.
Whenever we think of "love", the most common association is that of the romantic type. There are also other types of love, i.e. filial piety, brotherhood (sisterhood), friendship, etc... Too many to list all.
However these secular definitions of love are often built on a "Me" & "the other party/parties" relationship. God is missing in the picture.
What then happens? As I said in the previous blog, both the "Me" and "The other party" are ever-changing and thus unstable, thus this relationship will be shaky.
Not that there are no success stories of relationships of love without God in the picture... At least we can't be definitely sure. Even those success stories actually do have the work of God in them, just that the parties involved don't know until the day they meet God.
If we look to the Bible, God tells us in John 13:34 that our love for others, should be the way we love him...
Well, in retrospect, then I am really very ashamed lah... My relationship towards God has been so lukewarm in the past quarter that the danger of me backsliding was all along at my doorstep, just that I didn't see... If I didn't love God, whose love for me has been there always, how could what I feel for this guy, be love?
Going further, I think my feelings towards this guy is, yes, positive, but more of the "I like him" not "I love him".
Liking something/someone lacks the passion, enthusiasm determination and calling of loving something/someone.
Thanksfully God revealed this point to me today. Amen!
To the guy: Hey, I still like you but don't worry lah, I got much much more important things to do. I got the best lover now. Just that I must make sure I keep sight of the fact that he's around. :P
Things to thank my lover, :P, for:
1. For a great gals night...Though all the other gals didn't realise my Holy Spirit boyfriend was beside me throughout the night! :P
2. Attended a great service this morning at church. Though I don't exactly agree with all the points in the sermon, what the pastor preached is still very godly, and the topic touched on today was on how, we being loved my God, love those around us, even those who are undeserving (Read 2 Samuel on David and Mephiboseth).
3. Attended a interesting seminar this afternoon at church on Depression by Dr Leslie Lim. Though I had some nagging thought that I suffer from depression, turns out I don't. My situation is more of the "going through challenges in life" scenario. The seminar has equipped me with knowledge to apply on how to deal with depression should it ever start arising in me or those around me.
4. Bought a 3CDs worship CD at great discount! (Holy Spirit was nagging at my ears then to spend within my means and NOT splurge!)
Prayer to those who I am trying to really love:
1. My mum and dad. No need to say too much. God bless them.
2. Wenlin and Wenzhen. Wenlin, thanks for letting the Holy spirit manifest in you on saturday to give me that overdue scolding. May you recover from your injury soon. I want to sign on your cast! Wenzhen, don't really know how to communicate with you, so just, God bless.
3. Wen Ting, yo! Thanks for bothering to accompany me for last night's movie. Great show man! Though must apologise that I almost had a debate with you over the interpretation of the movie.
4. Tenacious and SITS members. Hey, sorry that I still seem quite aloof sometimes but thanks for always trying to understand.
5. The colleagues in my workplace, those whom I like, neutral, and even dislike. God bless you all for his kingdom. With love serve one another. ;)
6. My pre-believer friends. God bless you all and I hope one day you will come to realise your blessings are from Him!
7. And finally, the guy. Eh, I still like you leh, so how? Boh pian loh. God bless you so that you will love those that He has set for you to love. Btw, if The Gal is from God, she will definitely love you if you love her. Trust God ah, not me. :P
John 13:34 "As I have loved you, you must love one another."
Today's topic will be more of a girls' night topics so if you're a guy, be warned! :P
Was out with a group of non-believer friends, who I'm very close to, celebrating one of their birthday. As in the group, many of them were already hitched, engaged or in a relationship, our conversations quickly delved into that of the "Hey, this guy that used to xxx is now yyy."; "Luckily I swore off guys from the year 19xx" type.
Frankly, I admit that I REALLY HATED this kind of gal outings. They had this nagging reminder effect that, sad to say, there was no guy in physical form around me with substantial feelings for apart from my dad... :P
Thank God, tonight I was able to appreciate the humour from the topic, though I still maintained the position of more of an interested listener with little participation, for fear that my comments would spoil the entire mood. Proves that this decision was indeed a wise one given from God.
On the way home I reflected on the definition of "love" and "like".
Actually the week before, I just had this argument with a guy that I was having a "tug-of-war"ish relationship, ever since my JC years. The two of us always seems to be having this "timing difference", a term which I now dread as I'm doing book-balancing in Finance... :P
Whenever he was ready and enthusiatic, I wasn't and vice versa. Happens that as of late last year, I was warming up again, whereas he was cooling off. Then last monday, after the two of us chatted on his recent plans, I lost control over jealously of a girl he is now interested in. For the past week I was the whiny brat, questioning the "why oh why"s and moaning the "he's a jerk". (Part of my bad mood mentioned in the previous blog is attributed to this). Anyway, thankfully God gave me the optical test already on saturday morning so the very first word I've come to examine with this new pair of God's spectacles is LOVE.
Whenever we think of "love", the most common association is that of the romantic type. There are also other types of love, i.e. filial piety, brotherhood (sisterhood), friendship, etc... Too many to list all.
However these secular definitions of love are often built on a "Me" & "the other party/parties" relationship. God is missing in the picture.
What then happens? As I said in the previous blog, both the "Me" and "The other party" are ever-changing and thus unstable, thus this relationship will be shaky.
Not that there are no success stories of relationships of love without God in the picture... At least we can't be definitely sure. Even those success stories actually do have the work of God in them, just that the parties involved don't know until the day they meet God.
If we look to the Bible, God tells us in John 13:34 that our love for others, should be the way we love him...
Well, in retrospect, then I am really very ashamed lah... My relationship towards God has been so lukewarm in the past quarter that the danger of me backsliding was all along at my doorstep, just that I didn't see... If I didn't love God, whose love for me has been there always, how could what I feel for this guy, be love?
Going further, I think my feelings towards this guy is, yes, positive, but more of the "I like him" not "I love him".
Liking something/someone lacks the passion, enthusiasm determination and calling of loving something/someone.
Thanksfully God revealed this point to me today. Amen!
To the guy: Hey, I still like you but don't worry lah, I got much much more important things to do. I got the best lover now. Just that I must make sure I keep sight of the fact that he's around. :P
Things to thank my lover, :P, for:
1. For a great gals night...Though all the other gals didn't realise my Holy Spirit boyfriend was beside me throughout the night! :P
2. Attended a great service this morning at church. Though I don't exactly agree with all the points in the sermon, what the pastor preached is still very godly, and the topic touched on today was on how, we being loved my God, love those around us, even those who are undeserving (Read 2 Samuel on David and Mephiboseth).
3. Attended a interesting seminar this afternoon at church on Depression by Dr Leslie Lim. Though I had some nagging thought that I suffer from depression, turns out I don't. My situation is more of the "going through challenges in life" scenario. The seminar has equipped me with knowledge to apply on how to deal with depression should it ever start arising in me or those around me.
4. Bought a 3CDs worship CD at great discount! (Holy Spirit was nagging at my ears then to spend within my means and NOT splurge!)
Prayer to those who I am trying to really love:
1. My mum and dad. No need to say too much. God bless them.
2. Wenlin and Wenzhen. Wenlin, thanks for letting the Holy spirit manifest in you on saturday to give me that overdue scolding. May you recover from your injury soon. I want to sign on your cast! Wenzhen, don't really know how to communicate with you, so just, God bless.
3. Wen Ting, yo! Thanks for bothering to accompany me for last night's movie. Great show man! Though must apologise that I almost had a debate with you over the interpretation of the movie.
4. Tenacious and SITS members. Hey, sorry that I still seem quite aloof sometimes but thanks for always trying to understand.
5. The colleagues in my workplace, those whom I like, neutral, and even dislike. God bless you all for his kingdom. With love serve one another. ;)
6. My pre-believer friends. God bless you all and I hope one day you will come to realise your blessings are from Him!
7. And finally, the guy. Eh, I still like you leh, so how? Boh pian loh. God bless you so that you will love those that He has set for you to love. Btw, if The Gal is from God, she will definitely love you if you love her. Trust God ah, not me. :P
John 13:34 "As I have loved you, you must love one another."
Friday, July 16, 2010
The God-sight test
This past few months haven't been easy. Wasn't exactly sure of what had gone through both my heart and mind until God's eye-sight test gave a a "shock". Was having a routine morning breakfast talk with my sister when I started to degenrate into the complaining mode again. She, then began rebuking me. What could have been a constructive session broke out into a major quarrel the 2 of us had since quite some time ago. Both of us then retreated to our domains later.
While that moment when I was struggling with whether to let it out by crying and wondering whether I was crying due to self-pity or for my sister, then I heard the Holy Spirit asking the question "Why are you so concerned over what others think?"
It's not that I have never thought of this issue before. Its just that finally in that moment it struck. Suddenly it all made sense. I poured out to God, apologising for how I had been worshipping others around me, instead of Him.
Previously I had always thought the problem with my faith in God was due to self-worship (worshipping of self over God). Turns out I wasn't completely wrong but I had failed to see a crucial and critical point. My perception of self had been constructed based on what others feel, think about me. And as we know, others' perceptions of you are always changing. They will never be stable. That was precisely why I had been going through the rollercoaster of up, down and plateau-riding in mixed combis.
The great thing is that then I realised no matter what happens: God's perception of you NEVER changes. We are always his sheep and he will always love us no matter what. I had placed my base on what others think/view/see about me. As this base always changes, of course the building is unstable and will collapse.
Now that I finally gotten my new spectacles from God, I'll get to building the correct base immediately.
Today's blog is dedicated to all around me who matter so much to me (family, friends, colleagues, that jerk who I can't get over, even those who I just don't see eye to eye), but most of it is dedicated to Him because I always matter to Him no matter what. Hallelujah!
Thing to praise for:
1. Watching late night movie "Inception" later.
2. Going for gym later in afternoon
3. An interesting news article analysis on mega-churches in ST this morning
4. The quarrel with my sister
5. The Holy Spirit for giving me this eye-sight test. Really, its been way overdue. Thanks for it happening!
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave nor forsake you.
John 14: 1,18
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Turst in God; trust also in me."
2 Corinthians 6:18
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters", says the Lord Almighty.
While that moment when I was struggling with whether to let it out by crying and wondering whether I was crying due to self-pity or for my sister, then I heard the Holy Spirit asking the question "Why are you so concerned over what others think?"
It's not that I have never thought of this issue before. Its just that finally in that moment it struck. Suddenly it all made sense. I poured out to God, apologising for how I had been worshipping others around me, instead of Him.
Previously I had always thought the problem with my faith in God was due to self-worship (worshipping of self over God). Turns out I wasn't completely wrong but I had failed to see a crucial and critical point. My perception of self had been constructed based on what others feel, think about me. And as we know, others' perceptions of you are always changing. They will never be stable. That was precisely why I had been going through the rollercoaster of up, down and plateau-riding in mixed combis.
The great thing is that then I realised no matter what happens: God's perception of you NEVER changes. We are always his sheep and he will always love us no matter what. I had placed my base on what others think/view/see about me. As this base always changes, of course the building is unstable and will collapse.
Now that I finally gotten my new spectacles from God, I'll get to building the correct base immediately.
Today's blog is dedicated to all around me who matter so much to me (family, friends, colleagues, that jerk who I can't get over, even those who I just don't see eye to eye), but most of it is dedicated to Him because I always matter to Him no matter what. Hallelujah!
Thing to praise for:
1. Watching late night movie "Inception" later.
2. Going for gym later in afternoon
3. An interesting news article analysis on mega-churches in ST this morning
4. The quarrel with my sister
5. The Holy Spirit for giving me this eye-sight test. Really, its been way overdue. Thanks for it happening!
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave nor forsake you.
John 14: 1,18
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Turst in God; trust also in me."
2 Corinthians 6:18
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters", says the Lord Almighty.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
A Frank Prologue
Hi,
I'll like to be frank to all who read my blog. I do value my relationship with Jesus Christ very much, but sometimes, especially in times like now, I whine. If you wish to read inspiring messages everday, sorry to say but I'm a wet blanket. The purpose of this blog is more to be like the Israelites, who cried out to God when in times of distress. So the style of writing in this blog is a bit like some of the "complaining" psalms. :P
Of course, as a close friend and fellow follower told me, you MUST remember to count the blessings that God has bestowed upon you everyday, so I'll definitely include in my daily thanksgiving to Him, not as an obligation, but as a reminder that what I really can't comprehend/value now, will be a great treasure to me when I look back in this blog later.
I would love to hear feedback from all, be they fellow mates in Christ because another aim of this blog is to let fellow mates in Christ who are wavering in faith, whiny, and/or complaining know that they are not they only ones with these issues! :) However, I do NOT wish to complain forever. I hope that these issues / complaints I bring up lead to constructive discussion and eventually strengthens our love and faith in Him.
Also I value views from non-believers too. However, try to be polite and respectful of us followers of Christ.
There! My 1st complaint blog to God is out. Hallelujah!
Thanksgiving for the day:
1. Finally having the courage to set up this blog.
2. Not needing to withdraw $ from the ATM as I have enough cash to sustain me until at least fri?
3. Managing to get to my office in time, in fact 5 minutes before work.
4. Finally having the discipline to attend BSF after so long. Been pon-taning too much.
5. Able to speak coherently to the auditors when questioned regarding work process
6. Having a cheap dinner
I'll like to be frank to all who read my blog. I do value my relationship with Jesus Christ very much, but sometimes, especially in times like now, I whine. If you wish to read inspiring messages everday, sorry to say but I'm a wet blanket. The purpose of this blog is more to be like the Israelites, who cried out to God when in times of distress. So the style of writing in this blog is a bit like some of the "complaining" psalms. :P
Of course, as a close friend and fellow follower told me, you MUST remember to count the blessings that God has bestowed upon you everyday, so I'll definitely include in my daily thanksgiving to Him, not as an obligation, but as a reminder that what I really can't comprehend/value now, will be a great treasure to me when I look back in this blog later.
I would love to hear feedback from all, be they fellow mates in Christ because another aim of this blog is to let fellow mates in Christ who are wavering in faith, whiny, and/or complaining know that they are not they only ones with these issues! :) However, I do NOT wish to complain forever. I hope that these issues / complaints I bring up lead to constructive discussion and eventually strengthens our love and faith in Him.
Also I value views from non-believers too. However, try to be polite and respectful of us followers of Christ.
There! My 1st complaint blog to God is out. Hallelujah!
Thanksgiving for the day:
1. Finally having the courage to set up this blog.
2. Not needing to withdraw $ from the ATM as I have enough cash to sustain me until at least fri?
3. Managing to get to my office in time, in fact 5 minutes before work.
4. Finally having the discipline to attend BSF after so long. Been pon-taning too much.
5. Able to speak coherently to the auditors when questioned regarding work process
6. Having a cheap dinner
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