Response to Word Play 8: The 豆花西施 fights back

I understand that at least one follower of my previous blog entry was severely offended by the last few posts, namely the one on vessel size, and the one on toufu. First things first for updates. I haven't gone for any followup on my facial. My forehead is resembling a minefield. :p

Ok, back to more serious talk. As much as I wanted to just shrug off the comment that the follower had posted then, I cannot, and have decided to write this entry in response. I'll try my utmost to not launch into attack zoneage while trying to put my points across.

I gather from the response and feedback from the follower that I suffer from these main issues:

1. Being attention-seeking

2. Painting the VWO sector which I work in a terrible light

3. Being a false believer of Christ

I'll construct my personal POV and arguments, replying each point one by one.

1. Pertaining to being attention seeking, I can't help have a "Duh! Only NOW you realise?!" reaction. Please lah, all forms of blogging aims to bring attention of others to a certain issue the blogger feels is of concern to him or her. Of course I'm attention seeking! I'm facing work stress which is important to me since I'm the type of person who has to have passion for what he or she works for. Think of it as me doing public broadcast of a complain session with friends about work. I'm sure we accidentally eavesdrop on conversations like these in public areas too. Whether or not we get so infuriated enough to snap at the ones doing this to shaddap is another matter. Firstly, I'd like to thank the follower who did a "shut the f*** up" to me. However, I'll simply reply, "Cannot lah, I don't want to constipate it inside, but neither do I want to do venting onto my family and friends, or blow my top in office, as I still need my ricebowl".

2. Regarding the second point, I'll like to bring to attention a "revelation" I've gotten recently, though to some wise family and friends they'd have this "aiyo, what took you so long to geddit" reaction. There is no Promised Land on earth. Thus, there is no ideal workplace and definitely no perfect colleague and/or boss. I do not need to bring into the mind about NKF and Renci that you'll know what I talk about. However I need to clarify one point. Despite the imperfections in my current workplace, there are some ravishing beauties present. My colleague "Spiderman Peter Parker" is a kindly brother or sorts, who is always willing to dispense precious time, even on his off days to come back to put in extra work. He never tires to nag at me to calm down, when he himself is facing even more stress from that nemesis of mine. Another senior colleague is able to pull of the "assertive without being angsty" effortlessly, especially in light of my boss's nasty remark of the lack of productivity in my department. In fact, she had even reflected on how she talked to my boss the other day, and was worried she was being too harsh on him, when I observing the scene then, had felt she was being a tad too merciful. These are only two of the "beauties" in this place, who have a great heart to serve the VH community, many more who I haven't mentioned. The only "problem" is that I've always behaving like a selfish emperor of sorts, hoarding those 美人 for me myself only, unwilling to let the public know of their existence. It seems that we humans in general, find it much easier to talk about negative things, while keeping silent on positive things. No wonder a friend of mine constantly reminds me that I suffer from a "leftover food pessimism".

3. As for the final point, I really wish I had the confidence to lash out at the blog follower and scream "F*** you! It's absolutely bulls*** you're talking." Sad to say is, I can only answer that everyday I do my best to follow God a day at a time. In certain moments I'm Paul, other times Peter, other situations John or Thomas, and sometimes Judas Iscariot. I think all followers of God go through this process. The walk to follow Him was never said to be a joy ride. I cannot proclaim that I'm a authentic believer, but at least I know I'm still trying and have not yet threw in the towel and I hope I don't ever.

Alright, I think that is all I need to clarify for the time being. As for the follower's jibed comment of me as being a stinky piece of toufu, well it is true considering the layer of sweat causing the outbreak on my forehead. Meanwhile though, I have great memories of the 臭豆腐 from Taipei's 士林夜市. It tasted heavenly and I really hope to go Taipei for a shortbreak if possible. :)

Word Play 8: My face is like beancurd 我的面子如豆花

I’ve slackened with following up on my facial sessions. It’s been at least three months since I’ve gone for them, and with yesterday’s event, the blackheads are back with a vengeance... However the face I’ll look into today is the concept of 面子 or “face” as translated literally. 给面子 is quite an abstract Chinese concept, and no matter how I struggle, the closest translation I can come up with is “giving one due dignity and respect”, or to put it literally “give one due face.”

The problem with the concept of 给面子 is then, how much or what quantity of “face” is the other party due. We may feel that we have 给足面子, meaning given the other party sufficient due “face”, but the other party may still protest and insist that we 不给面子, meaning we do not give them the due “face” required.

This deliberation of how much face to give will never be resolved if we continue to point fingers at others. As in the concept of facial treatments, my specialist Susan often chides me for my lack of upkeep, resulting in the regular outbreaks on my nose especially. Despite being a seasoned specialist at this task, I definitely know the extra effort she takes in squeezing those irritating blackheads stuck in the pores. So in this case, I am also hugely responsible for what I look like. How much 面子 others give you also definitely correspond with the way in which you conduct yourself. I can go for facial regularly, but if I fail to do my side of maintainenance, there is still a limit of how much effect the facial specialist can beautify me.

I had been long inspired to write the entry by an action I go about often: giving some colleagues beancurd drinks as a treat. This habit has roots in my first long-term job 5 years ago. The motive behind this ahd simply been a private acknowledge of gratitude and thanks to these 师父s, 师姐s, ah-hias, ah-zes for their patience and guidance during my term under their tulage. In that former workplace, there were many "conditions" that I had to keep in mind when just doing this simple act. Now half a decade later and in another workplace, sad to say, these "conditions" remain present. However the difference lies in my audacity to pluck these "blackheads" away.

Last year when I just entered this current workplace and bought my first beancurd treat, most of those being treated had graciously enjoyed the dessert, though two senior staff had insisted on paying for their share, subtly implying the presence of these "blackhead and pimple conditions". Then I had been slightly disheartened but did not give this further thought.

Eight months into this workplace, I bought the same beancurd treat again last month. Those two seniors happened not to be present in office by chance, but there was a test of another sort. Present was a certain colleague whom I did not get along well with, and who had in fact been pivotal behind some of my current challenges in my workplace. Despite a nagging urge in me, I did what I wanted and did not give her any share of the beancurd dessert.

I know some people will deem my action as "work blasphemy", pointing out the folly behind this act. Granted, I understand the logic behind forgiveness, and as I've long maintained, I still seek reconciliation and forgivesness between the two of us. However, since she maintains her ground till this very day, there is a limited amount of 面子 she is due from me, as what she wants is nothing short of me to resign. In fact, if I had proceeded on to giving her a share, it would have got interpreted as a move with a hidden agenda, leading to further speculation and mayhem. On my end, I'd rather proceed on with consistency than to subcuumb to the rules of playing the "blackhead and pimple conditions", because only then am I at peace with myself.

When I went to look for a fellow colleague in another department for dinner later, and happened to run into another colleague present who had did two acts of major backstabbing to me last year, I did not acknowledge her presence. When leaving, my dinner partner was worried and questioned that "You really didn't bother to acknowledge her and 翻白眼 to her?" I wouldn't say I'm proud of what I did, but more of at peace with what I did. Considering the gravity of those two incidents last year, it had already taken me great effort to simply not ackowledge her presence. As my friend Genette had said last year when two very unreasonable colleagues had lambasted her, "There's only a limit to how much I can change within this period of time, I'm human." Forgivesness is a process, with this colleague I'm proceeding at a much slower rate, because this is the only amount of 面子 I can muster to give her as of the moment.

Thus, by treating those two particular colleagues the way I did, I'm already giving them as much 面子 they are due, with my limited supply. Beyond that would be sheer hypocrisy, because this would have no correlation to my initial motive behind treating others with beancurd!

Beancurd is a very smooth and tasty dessert. To keep our daily lives smooth and full of positive flavour, instead of screaming at others on how they destroy the smoothness and beauty of our fragile 面子, maybe we can take on the role of doing some self-maintenance. This way it makes the job of our fellow facial specialists much easier. Meanwhile I need to book an appointment with Susan soon. :)

OMG Science: Peter walking on water

I’ve decided to put Movie Mayhem with God aside for a while, and delve into examining and reconciling the realm of science with God for this entry, mainly through the acts of miracles in the Bible. Many have fawned over these miracles, but frankly the hoo-haa-ing is a bit over-hyped, and I want to look at them in a more analytical manner. Lest I get stoned for blasphemy for that previous statement, my justification is that precisely because of God’s omnipresence and omnipotence, these acts of miracles are a piece of cake to Him. They are miracles only because we mere mortals are never able to pull it off through self-effort, duh! Ok, enough of the self-vindication because I know some purists will still hold the stand that I’m showing God gross disrespect.

Today’s case study will focus on one of the most famous miracles in the gospel of Matthew, Peter’s act of water-walking. Actually, all human beings will have a tendency to float, depending on their body density versus that of water. One renowned example is the water floats enjoyed by many tourists in the Dead Sea, with an ultra-high salt content, which greatly increases its density, rendering us human beings so much lighter in comparison.

Typically, humans sink due to two forces jointly at work, namely the gravitational pull and the comparative density of what surface is that material we are on. As the typical ground we stand on is much denser than us, thus despite gravitational pull, we’ll never be unfortunate enough to get sucked into the centre of the earth. Proceeding along this deductive line of thought, for Peter to be able to float and even walk on water, all that is needed is:

1. A pull that overcomes the gravitational pull that drags him downwards into the water;
2. A change in the density of Peter in comparison to that of the water he is walking on.

Let us then look at what Peter did before and during the entire process of that famous miracle (Matthew 14:25-31 NIV):

1. Peter verified whether what he saw was truly Jesus; (vs.28)
2. Then he proceeded on to ask for Jesus’ permission to have a try; (vs.28)
3. Upon Jesus’ green-light, he made his own go at it; (vs.29)
4. All was well until he stopped focusing on Jesus and got distracted by the waves and storm, thus he started sinking and had to cry for help to Jesus, who then gently nagged at him for being of little faith. (vs.30-31)

From the entire process we can see that, even Peter’s minute faith in Jesus during the instance between vs.28-29, by just seeking for verification that it is indeed God, and then asking for permission, was more than enough, to firstly overcome gravitational pull of the earth, and secondly alter his own body density relative to the water! Think of Jesus being like this ultra magnetic with a pull that way surpasses that of gravity, while also being an incredible alchemist of sorts, changing Peter’s “element” (i.e. changing Group I element in the periodic table into Group II element).

Interesting when you choose to look at this miracle from the physics and chemistry point of view, you see how much God’s dabbling can effect, when you only need to ask him with faith. However, I think God still intends for many forms of work (NASA scientists, astronauts, and cruise liners’ captains, etc.) to continue, thus so far there hasn’t been any repeat occurrences yet. Or maybe we’re just like the other 11 disciples, being much too “scaredy-cat” to even ask for a shot. Even then, kids do not try this at all, whether under the supervision of only human beings, adult or not. Water is not as dense as the lego tiles in this picture... :p